Goodnight, Travel Well

*There's nothing I can say...
There's nothing I can do now...
The universe is standing still...
Goodnight, travel well.*
- "Goodnight, Travel Well", The Killers

I had been thinking about writing a new entry for Christmas. In fact, I said I would.

I was on facebook, and I was trying to figure out what to put as my status. I put way too much thought into my statuses.

I thought about putting in some Christmas lyrics...

Or some Bible verses from the Nativity story...

And I was thinking about doing the opening verse from the hymn 'Silent Night'. You know:

"Silent Night,
Holy Night,
All Is Calm,
All Is Bright.
Round Yon Virgin,
Mother and Child.
Holy Infant
So Tender And Mild.
Sleep In Heavenly Peace.
Sleep In Heavenly Peace."

And it felt trite. It felt cheesy. Like it was just a sweet, mushy Christmas song. I chose not to use it.

So, I kept thinking. I thought about the song "Better Days" by The Goo Goo Dolls. That song always makes me think about the REAL meaning of Christmas. (Here's a link if you haven't heard it before: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIFhst3DwPE)

But that still didn't feel quite right.

The reason we fall into materialism during Christmas, I think, is because we can't put the true meaning of Christmas into words that accurately convey the message.

Sometimes things get close to capturing it. Humans have trouble lumping profound things and child-like joy together.

Some people say stuff with a big grin, like, "Merry Christmas! Jesus is born!" and the profound-types roll their eyes at the simplicity of the statement.

But then, the profound-types say, "This isn't just 'Merry Christmas', we're talking about one of the biggest events in history!" and there's no joy in their words. No joy or happiness. Just quite reverence.

When Jesus was in the manger, surrounded by Mary, Joseph, the shepherds, and barn animals, we get this impression that it was silent. We just have this instinctual inclination telling us that it was peaceful and quiet.

I think it was peaceful and quiet in an incredible, supernatural way. If you're in a barn, animals are going to make noise. Cows 'moo', donkeys 'hee-haw', chickens cluck. Etc. There's noise.

But we've got a silent night.

And nowadays, because we can't wrap our heads around the idea of 100% joy and 100% solemnity and peace, we bury ourselves in materialism.

Because who wants to have a major headache of confusion when you can just live in shallow bliss?

Finally, I just gave up on my Facebook status and said:

"Every Christmas at this time, I start thinking about the true meaning of Christmas and I just can't wrap my head around it. It's God's birthday. Mind-bogglingly powerful and confusing message..."

I just admitted I was confused. I think that it's very rare in life for us to have moments of true clarity when it comes to spiritual matters. Since the Fall, we've cut ourselves off from God. Meaning all things spiritual will make little sense to us. Every once in a while, you get that sudden spark during a sermon/worship service/prayer where you REALLY feel genuinely connected. It lasts for mere seconds. And then it's gone. And that's because of our Fallen nature.

Here's the other side of that coin:

God upholds the Covenant between Himself and man entirely. God does ALL of the work in upholding His promises. Christmas is a day to commemorate that God is active. God upheld his end of the Covenant and took action- He sent His Son Jesus, whom was fully God and fully human, down into a broken world in the form of a baby.

There aren't enough words. The true meaning of Christmas is similar to the true nature of God: indescribable. Because every time you try to describe it, it comes out trite and cliche.

You hear stuff that's either like:

"Come on, let's remember the REAL meaning of Christmas, guys. This is a serious matter."

OR

"Yay! It's Jesus' birthday! Praise God! :D"

And both are true, but both fall short of actually describing Christmas. Humans won't understand the true nature of spiritual things until the Second Coming. We're incapable. But as Christians, we try. We're truth-seekers. We WANT to know and to understand.

The point is, we can't describe Christmas because words will always fall short. So, just think about that as you're opening presents and eating with your families. You think OUR Christmas is fun? Wait until a REAL Christmas in a perfect world, where we understand the true meaning. That will be one of the most phenomenal things EVER. Understand that OUR interpretation of Christmas is broken, but it's important because we WANT to commemorate this incredible event.

If you want the true meaning of Christmas, well, you won't get it yet. But Christians try. Here's the best explanation of the true meaning of Christmas, from one of the brightest theologians of our times: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKk9rv2hUfA

Hope that wasn't over your head. :)

Anyway, Merry Christmas.

The Day The Earth Stood Still.

*One man, one mission
One plot to save the world
Reclaim all races
And embrace our destiny

Changing history when the colliding comes
Where will you run
Come with us if you want to live

Join us in the army that's arising
The truth invades your mind
Every day the Kingdom is advancing
The earth invasion has just begun.*

-Skillet, Earth Invasion

It's Christmas time! This is the first time I'll be doing some Christmas entries on WASD, and I'm very excited. I'll do at least one more before New Years.

The other day I heard a youth pastor refer to Christmas time as 'the Holy Invasion'. He was saying that when Christmas roles around, the people that only go to church on Christmas and Easter will dust off their nice clothes and head to church. But the term really stuck with me.

'Holy Invasion'.

When we think of Christmas- more specifically, Jesus as a person- we think of peace. We think of the man we see in paintings with brown hair, grinning from ear to ear and holding a small child.

Don't get me wrong: This is Jesus through and through. Jesus is 'shalom'. So the term 'Holy Invasion' almost comes across a little... rude, doesn't it?

But that's exactly what this was.

Let's get a little more specific. The word alien, before it came to mean little green/gray men (whatever suits you), meant 'outsider'. Something FOREIGN.

A holy being outside of everything we know and could possibly understand sends His Son, a being who is also God himself, into a sinful, broken world as a baby.

When Jesus is born, He is a PERFECT human being. He has no sin. 100% clean, all the time. And, He's also fully God. And the son of God.

Pause one second: If you didn't think of it as bizarre and mind boggling at first, try to wrap your head around it- Jesus was the Son of God and God the Father himself. I don't know about you, but that seems pretty 'foreign and strange'.

God has set in motion the perfect plan. He has sent His Son down into the world of sinners, 'fullness of God in helpless babe'. Not only does this prove His intense love for these sinners, he's willing to save them.

He sends His Son Jesus to Earth, knowing full well that Jesus will be persecuted for His entire life, until eventually He is crucified. How could any parent do that? We know that Jesus' death pained God intensely. The loss of a child pains the parent.

So, he sends his son, the PERFECT being, into a world under oppression. Literally, this was a 'Holy Invasion'.

Think to all those images of alien invasions from movies like Independence Day, The Day The Earth Stood Still, etc. This fits the criteria for the title of 'alien invasion'.

Jesus later says in the New Testament, "I come not to bring peace but a sword." Jesus is bringing change to the world. He's invading the culture, changing the way people understand God, saving literally MILLIONS of lives, and totally turning the established order on its head. This DEFINITELY falls in with the archetype of 'alien invasion'.

Rewind: 'Before' Jesus went into action, He was a baby.

Pudgy cheeks. Feet in mouth. Amazed by hands. Those are the images that come to mind when I think about babies. How could JESUS have been a baby?

But he was. So let's take the story to another angle- three wisemen have been tracking the stars, doing their thing, and they see a new star. They saddle up their camels and follow it, until it leads them DIRECTLY to Jesus. A little baby in a feeding box, with a loving mother just after labor and a father seeing to his wife.

If I was one of those wisemen, I would have found that a little anti-climactic. I mean, there's a NEW STAR in the sky, and it leads to a baby in a barn.

They come to the conclusion this baby is not what he seems. It is revealed to them that Jesus is the prophesied King of Kings.

These three wisemen go back to Caesar and talk to him about it. Caesar is ruling an empire right about now. He's happy with his life. He doesn't want some NEW KING coming to take all of this from him. And Satan slides right in and starts pulling the strings on Caesar.

There's a scene in an episode of Smallville (yes, I'm talking about Smallville again) that really fits this moment. In the episode 'Splinter', Clark gets a sliver of silver kryptonite into his blood, and gradually becomes more and more paranoid. He even starts hallucinating. Of course, all of his paranoia is tied to his biggest fear: his secret being discovered by the entire world.

In one scene, when he's hallucinating, he sees Lex holding a press conference. Lex exclaims:

"Clark Kent is an invader from another world, the first of an armada bent on enslaving this planet! But I know his weakness. I know how to stop him."

This is what Satan whispers into Caesar's ear.

Satan never works in complete lies. He deals in half-truths.

He tells Caesar that Jesus is from another world, an alien. (Truth)
He then tells Caesar that Jesus is bent on taking control from Caesar. (Lie)

Caesar tells the wisemen to bring him to the baby, so that he may 'worship him as well'.

The wisemen are like, 'yeah, like that's what you're gonna do.' The wisemen want this child alive- they know He is the Messiah. So they take off. They don't tell Caesar.

I don't know what my real point is, here. I guess I'm just trying to point out that Christmas is something MUCH bigger than we ever acknowledge it to be. It's not 'just' the birth of Christ, it's the BIRTH OF CHRIST. Bold-face. Underline. Exclamation points. It's an invasion about to change the entire world FOREVER.

And, I guess what I'm trying to say is: that's a BIG DEAL.

Alcoholics Anonymous.

"Today at the mall with my family, we passed a wishing fountain. I tossed a coin in and wished for an iTouch for Christmas. My younger brother, trying to impress my parents, said I was being selfish and wished for world peace. He tossed a quarter at the well, it bounced off the rim, and hit him in the head. You can't fool the wishing fountain."- MLIA

"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words." -Matthew 6:5-7

Jesus was a man of action, not of words.

In my English class, we just finished reading Tartuffe. Tartuffe is an old play written by Moliere about a bogus priest who has convinced a nobleman that he is truly pious. The nobleman, named Orgon, is in awe of this 'holy prophet'. However, the rest of Orgon's family see Tartuffe for what he really is.

We, as readers, don't meet Tartuffe until quite a ways into the play. But when we meet him, he's truly detestable. He flaunts his prayers out for all to see, purposefully.

Jesus said that we are to be revolutionaries. We are the Elect. We're supposed to evangelize. But, right there in Matthew 5:6-7, he says we should pray in private. Jesus says believers should congregate and worship as a church, but again we look at this verse and notice he is saying worship should be private. So, which one do we do? Anyone else getting some mixed signals?

Well, let's look at the context of the verse, because after all: context is key. This is in the Sermon on the Mount. People followed Jesus, this man they thought was simply a fascinating teacher and philosopher, up onto a mountain and sat, listening intently while he spoke. Hanging on his every word. Jesus main opponents in that culture at the time were the Pharisees. The Pharisees were a council of Jewish religious judicial officials. The word 'pharisee' literally means 'sit together', if I'm remembering my New Testament project correctly.

The Pharisees LOVED to show they were better than anyone else. That they could keep the law the best, that they could be the most 'perfect'. Time and again they try to stump Jesus with questions to trip him up, and it backfires completely on them. Their authority is challenged over and over and over.

All right. So, we've got a call to be active and loud as Christians, but then Jesus tells us we are supposed to pray secretly and discreetly. Jesus says this as a reference to the Pharisees. Like I said, they loved to show they were 'better'. They would pray loudly. For them, prayer was not spiritual. Prayer was about the attention they received. Up until Jesus came, everyone said, "Oh look at those amazing Pharisees!" But Jesus shows up and says, "You guys have it ALL wrong. You've twisted up prayer!"

Look back up at that little story at the beginning of the entry. Go on, it's funny.

When we pray insincerely for things just to gain respect, it backfires. God sees straight into our souls. I know that gets said a lot, but it's true. He sees our nakedness and our true motivations. So when we're fake-praying, when we're hamming it up to look good in front of others, God gets insulted. We aren't praying to him.

We aren't even praying at all.

In Ethics, we just finished watching a great old movie called "The Days Of Wine And Roses" to correspond with our class discussion about addictions. Anyway, before we started watching that, I had been thinking a lot about the idea of 'church'. What is a church?

And when I thought about this verse in Matthew, I thought: "Wow, are we doing this wrong? Get together and singing loudly and acting all good... Is this right?"

See, my definition of church was:

A place for the enlightened man to rise above the sinful nature and to praise God. A place to separate one's self from sin, from the ugliness of the world.

Then I watched "Days Of Wine And Roses". The movie is about a couple that struggle with alcoholism. Joe, the husband, eventually realizes he has a problem and starts trying to sober up. However, his wife Kirsten, whom had not been drinking until she met Joe, continues to drink. And drink. And get drunk. She starts to resent Joe for sobering up, because she thinks he believes himself to be better than her. She runs away and drinks herself into oblivion. On their final confrontation in their apartment, a sober and deeply-pained Kirsten says that when she's drinking, the ugliness of the world goes away.

The way the movie ends is depressing. She leaves, refusing to admit she is an alcoholic. Joe is left with a daughter and the weight of knowing he caused her drinking. But he's sober. He's been working with Alcoholics Anonymous.

And so I had this thought:

The funny thing about the way people-- believers and non-believers alike-- perceive church is skewed and wrong. Christians and athiests see church as the place where those who have 'ascended' past the sin of this world to gather. That's not what it is at all! Church is Alcoholics Anonymous. People who believe are recognizing their problem (sin) and going not to 'rise above' the world but to beg for forgiveness and to try and get away from the addiction. A church is not a place for 'holier-than-thou' people like the Pharisees. A church is a place for the sinners-- the adulterers, the murderers, the liars, the greedy, the gluttonous-- to go to acknowledge they have a problem.

The congregation is the support group! These are all people saying, "I have a problem too, and I want out of it. I need to sober up."

In a nutshell, church isn't a place for people who go 'because they're Christians' (although that's commendable). A church is a place for a sinner to go, showing an entire group of people he is a sinner simply by showing up, and ask for forgiveness with Jesus. A Christian will mess up and slip. We are fallen. Sinful.

And I'm not saying that acknowledging you have a problem is how to fix everything.

Think of it like this.

1) Man wakes up one day, disgusted with himself for his sin. He goes to repent on Sunday.
2) Man sees another 200 people there, who are all there for the same reason: they are disgusted with their sin and need to praise God for his grace.
3) By coming to church, the man is telling everyone else in the congregation he is a sinner and needs help. 'I'm _____ and I'm an alcoholic.'
4) And thus begins the journey. A church is just like AA.

How does this tie into the whole prayer thing? That verse we started with?

Jesus says we shouldn't be Pharisees. Don't go out and pray loudly at restaurants so that people look over and say, 'Wow, he's virtuous'.

Because people aren't going to say that. People are going to say, 'Christians think they're so much better, when they're just as bad as us. What hypocrites.'

People can tell when faith is ingenuine. Especially with Christians. Christianity is a faith all about changing how you act. So by putting on these big pious displays in public, we're setting ourselves up for a fall.

But Jesus says we should pray quietly and discreetly. Because those big, gaudy prayers don't impress humans, and they especially don't impress God. God sees right through them.

In the end of Moliere's play 'Tartuffe', Tartuffe is exposed as a total fraud and brought to justice. All of his false piety backfires like a quarter off the edge of a wishing well, and hits him square in the head. False faith will only get you hit in the head with pocket change.

So, here's the full point: we have to change how we understand churches. Stop saying a church is place for 'Christians to gather'. A church is a place for sinners who want to be made whole, who desparately want to be sober! Going to church says, "I'm a sinner and I have problem! That's why I'm here!" And that means confessing that not only to God, but to an entire congregation. But those people are all there for the same reason you are! They're sinners who want to be made whole, to be sobered.

If you go to church because it's 'what Christians do', your faith is leaning very close towards the Pharisees'.

If you go to church each day to be held accountable and to openly admit you are a sinner, you're living Matthew 5:6-7.

Jesus was a man of action. He walked the walk. Talk was cheap to him.

Teddy Roosevelt said, "Talk softly and carry a big stick."

If we say 'talking softly' means being brief with words and 'carrying a big stick' means walking the walk, we've got Jesus. Jesus, the Son of God, whom set the example for all believers on how to act.

I know some people are going to think this is cheesy, maybe even a little distasteful. But this imagery is far too powerful for me to avoid.

Jesus did indeed talk softly, living through action. In his actions, he LITERALLY carried a big stick. He was crucified on it. And He rose again.

Jesus was a man of action, who is the only person to ever successfully 'walk the walk AND talk the talk'.

Disclosures and Warning Labels

Have you ever seen one of those signs (or at least a picture of one) that's absolutely ridiculous? Or one of those warning labels that seems so blatantly obvious and useless?

Example:

Windex. Warning! Do not spray in eyes!

Nooo, really?!

Alright. And have you ever seen one of those disclosures on DvD boxsets. It's like, those ones that say, "The views expressed in the commentaries and bonus content do not reflect those of the FOX company" etc.

Here's what I'd like to say.

I'm human (I think. Jury's still out.). I'm fallen- A LOT. I'm prejudiced. I'm a jerk. I'm a bad Christian. And I'm doing a 'theology' blog.

When I started WASD, I just wanted to make a blog for me to spout my random thoughts on theology and God. I also wanted to aim it at other teens, so teens could relate to it.

This entry is a disclosure.

First of all, don't spray it in your eyes. Second of all, it has sharp edges.

No, but seriously. One of my favorite quotes is from Rob Bell when he defines theology. He says, "The word theology has roots in two Latin words. Theos means God and Logos means Talk. Theology is God Talk. Anyone can do theology."

Now, in Ecclesiastes 1:9, it says, "There is nothing new under the sun."

So here's my point.

A) I'm biased and fallen. Everything in this blog is me wrestling with scripture, so don't take it as Scripture. 'Cause I know it's not perfect understanding of things. These are just my thoughts. I want YOU GUYS to think a little bit. Get that hamster running on that wheel. I hesitate to say it's my opinion, since I base all my entries on what I know about the Bible and try my best to keep it in the context of Scripture.

B) There's nothing new. I'm not saying NEW stuff. Humans have been around for a while now. There have been dozens of philosophers and theologians over time. But this blog is MY thoughts. This is me trying wrestling with my spiritual questions and posting them in the hopes some discussion will result or some thought will occur.

So keep that in mind when reading my thoughts.

I'd also like to talk about Christian authors. Just as a general set of rules, here are some guidelines to follow when looking at Christian books:

1) Don't give much credence to books with pictures of their author on the front. I'm looking at you, Joel Olsteen.

2) Don't give much credence to books that say stuff like "Five Steps To A Holier You". The book was written by someone who is fallen, just like you. They aren't going to have anything to say that Scripture doesn't say. They can't.

3) Any books that have their author's photo on the cover or back should not be trusted. If there's a small picture in the dust jacket, that's fine. That's totally okay. But not big photos.

4) Cheesy is as cheesy does. 85% of the time, anything with a ridiculously cheesy title is not going to be that great, in my experience. Granted, Rob Bell named one of his books "Jesus Wants To Save Christians", and that was FANTASTIC. So, that's in the 15% category.

Yep. Just some thoughts.

"Jake, how many hamsters do you go through in a day?"- Crim

My Story

*Fear can drive a stick, and it's taking me down this road- a road down which I swore Id' never go. And hear I sit, thinking of God knows what, afraid to admit I might self destruct.*
- Devastation and Reform, Relient K

Early on in my Freshman year, our New Testament class was assigned a project. It was a memoir/brief autobiography of ourselves. You know, one of those things teacher's assign to get to know their students. Basic stuff.

Well, the first line of my paper was, "I'm not interesting."

Okay, this may take a little explanation. See, up to that point, I'd say my life wasn't interesting. I didn't have one of those amazing stories about turning to Christ- I had one of those 'been all my life but really clicked during summer camp on year' conversion stories. Although there had been a few incidents in my life that were semi-interesting stories, other than that, nada.

At least, that's what I thought.

A few months later, something happened.

See, there's a slight history of anxiety in my family. You know, 'worry-wartism'.

During my fifth grade year I had dealt with a form of an anxiety disorder, and after several months, defeated it. I attributed the success to A) God's help, B)My will, C)Medicine.

Anyway, after that, I was normal, save a few eccentricities. But suddenly, something in my mind apparently just snapped- no, not like I went insane. It was like my body had been storing up all my anxiety and worry and fear over the course of four years. And suddenly, it just flooded.

Okay, that's not a good way to describe. But it happened so gradually, so deceivingly slowly, that in retrospect it seems like it just sneaked up on me. (Yes, it's sneaked, not snuck.)

So after Christmas Break, my world fell apart. I developed not only a new anxiety disorder but OCD- Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

This doesn't mean I was crazy. In fact, MILLIONS of people suffer from some form or another of OCD. But suddenly, I developed this fear of contamination- not germs, but contamination. It's hard to explain.

Mostly, because to you, and to me NOW, it doesn't make sense. It's not practical. It was just irrational, uncontrollable fear. And it just started eating me up inside.

Suddenly, I was sleeping on an air matress in the living room instead of my room. Suddenly, all the food in the house was contaminated and I had to eat out. I couldn't make myself eat food at home. I wouldn't touch my dog or family. I couldn't touch anything in the house, essentially. And the outside world was similar.

It was soul-crushing. That's the only way to describe it.

In his book "Drops Like Stars", pastor Rob Bell makes a valid point. He says that when suffering strikes people, they always ask the question, "why?".

The 'why' is always the same: we live in a fallen world.

So the logical thought progression is, "Why would God allow it?"

Rob Bell says the question we should ask is, "What now?"

This may sound the same as when people say 'everything happens for a reason', but it's not. Because it's not in our human capacity to accept or truly understand that.

It's the idea that when suffering strikes, we take a step back, no matter how difficult that may be, and we ask:

What now?

Where do I go from here? What is my life now?

This isn't the same as asking "How is God using this to teach me?".

It's more of a step toward that thought. It's like we aren't quite ready to swallow the truth that God IS going to use it, so we take a baby-step. We ask, "What now?''

What are the truths of my life? Where do I go from here?

It's incredibly hard to do while suffering, and incredibly painful to do while in the face of suffering.

The first month into Summer Vacation, after MONTHS of psychological training and 'therapy', the OCD was defeated. Not gone, but defeated so badly that any time it chose to try and make me anxious, I could quell it.

And just recently, I have gotten around to asking, "What now?"

Fear guided my life for months. I know for a fact that nothing will ever be the same with me in light of that experience. It's too powerful.

My friendships suffered from lack of speaking and making contact for months. Never even seeing people. My life socially had changed dramatically.

So, I ask: "What now?"

I've been wondering what God was trying to teach me from this experience, because I'm finally at the point where I can start asking that question.

It's most likely you will say, "God is teaching you that He is always with you and that with His help you can get through anything!"

Or possibly: "God wants you to gain understanding of psychological anxiety disorders so you can move into a career on that subject."

I disagree with both, although they might be totally correct.

I think

He was saying,

"You ARE interesting."

I opened a paper just a few months before with the sentence "I'm not interesting", and within a few months, enter an ordeal that very few can truly say they have been part of. And it's happened before. Twice, I have beaten this.

What kind of kid can say that? Although OCD is common, on a smaller scale, it's semi-rare. I may be the only kid in my grade to ever have dealt with an Anxiety Disorder on this level.

And on a larger scale, many people with OCD just adapt to it. They never defeat it.

So recently I thought about my life.

And I realized, if you don't count those two incidents, I still have had a very unique life. I have stories in my past that make most people go wide-eyed.

I think God was just trying to tell me, "You ARE interesting. You DO matter. And if others don't find you interesting, well...I find you fascinating. Your life is infatuating to me."

God loves me so much. He cares so much about me. About my life.

And that's a concept I know I'll never fully be able to understand. But I sure will try.

I'll try because God is interested in me.

God vs. Fantasy?

Throughout the Bible, witchcraft and dabbling in the dark arts is seen as one of the ultimate taboos.

But what does this mean?

GK Chesterton said, "Fairy tales are more than true, not because they tell us dragons exist, but that they can be BEATEN."

I grew up reading fantasy novels. My dad, a seminary graduate, read Harry Potter to me when I was little, as well as the Chronicles of Narnia. I grew up reading books about magic and wizards and brave knights and heroes.

Then came RPGing. I grew up when parents were scared that Dungeons and Dragons was leading their children into the occult and satanic practices.

Then the Harry Potter controversy.

Then, oh yes, World of Warcraft. The game that has attracted MILLIONS of players all over the world. Warcraft's world is full of monsters, demons, magic, healing, and fighting demonic powers.

I had been raised on fantasy novels and manga. It was no surprise I got into online gaming as well. I started playing Guild Wars, played the demo of World of Warcraft, engaged in ALL of Artix Entertainment's free games. Heck, when I was little, I played the card game Yugioh ENDLESSLY.

Is this wrong? Is this 'dabbling in the occult'?

I've read Harry Potter, Narnia, Lord of the Rings, Artemis Fowl, The Inheritance Cycle (Eragon), Broken Sky, some of the Warcraft novels, R.A. Salvatore's Forgotten Realms, and countless more.

I grew up reading-and continue to read-manga like Shaman King, Naruto, Bleach, Death Note, Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles, D. Gray Man, Fullmetal Alchemist, and more.

I grew up watching- and continue to watch- Magic Knight Rayearth, Fullmetal Alchemist, the movies of Hayao Miyazaki, and TONS more.

I'm an avid comic book fan. One of my all time favorite superheroes is Hellboy, a demon who refuses to follow his demon heritage and instead spends his time trying to save the world!!

So, I've read tons of fantasy.

I've played RPGS involving magic and supernatural powers.

I've watched anime involving magic and elemental abilities.

So again: Am I sinning?

What are the pros of fantasy?:

1) Fantasy openly acknowledges a struggle between good and evil, often involving supernatural abilities under many names. Jutsu. Kido. Magic. Elemental powers.

2) Fantasy's heroes are often children of no special background rising to become heroes. This mirrors the Christian's call to Christ.

3) Other times, fantasy heroes are children who are long lost children of Kings. These children are often raised in a poor setting with a small family. This mirrors Christ being born as the child of a carpenter.

4) The abilites the heroes use are often a gift from a higher power. This mirrors the Apostles being given great power by the Holy Spirit to do miraculous things.

5) The hero is often called to sacrifice himself in order to save the world.

I could go on and on about lessons fantasy can teach us. But let's look at...

The Cons of Fantasy:

1) The use of magic. While this is solely a story telling element, it can be dangerous. It's hard to say.

2) The decision to ignore the conflicts of the Spiritual War and say life is boring. Thus, we read fantasy. By saying that this life is dull, we are leaving ourselves unaware and unprotected.

3) Possible desensitization to the powers of darkness.

4) The occasional protagonist who believes he must have more power constantly. This is seen in manga fairly often.

5) If Christians that read fantasy are scorned for reading fantasy by other believers, this can potentially push people away from Christianity.

So, I leave the decision to you. That's what this blog is about.

God bless.

Uh-oh....

"Turns out, I don't have as many thoughts as you might think."-Joey, FRIENDS

I've just noticed something. I'm out of spiritual musings right now.

NOT GOOD.

Shouldn't we always have spiritual musings? Isn't that what makes us Christians and truth seekers?

So far, I've minorly covered my musings on good and evil, demons, and a few other things.

Am I already out? Where did my spiritual musings go?

Praying for renewed spiritual vigor...

Let's See How Far We've Come

There's a line in this song that I love.


*I sat down on the street, took a look at myself. I said "Where you goin' man, you know the world is headed for hell?"Say your goodbyes if you got someone to say goodbye too.*

I think for a lot of people that's how the moments goes. When God chooses the time to have them choose, this is how a lot of people feel I think.

Because people usually come to God in hard times. Right?

Chosen to choose to be chosen.

We were chosen by God to choose whether or not we would follow him- and even though he knows what our choice will be (to be chosen), he still offers the choice.

That's the little blurb of the day.

How then should we live?

*This life is beautiful! I give it all to You, all for You!*

I've been thinking about what I'm going to do with my future and stuff, and an interesting thought occured to me.

Our physical life is sort. To quote the band Reilly, "We're living on limited time."

We are called to give ourselves wholly to God.

We have an eternity with Him.

So, should we put aside what we want for the future so that we can do what we are called to? Should I give up my passions and skills, all my plans for my life, and instead live as a missionary? As a teacher? A pastor?

We're living on limited time, but soon we'll have an eternity with the Lord Himself. During this eternity, we will be praising Him constantly. In this life, we praise God through the gifts he gives us.

In the movie Chariots of Fire, Eric Little says to his sister:

"Yes, God did call me to be a missionary. And I'm going to. But he also made me fast. And when I run, I feel His pleasure."

So, what if we decided to live our mortal lives doing everything we could to spread the Gospel? To be a force for good? What if, instead of pursuing our passions on our career path, we threw ourselves into the work for God wholeheartedly?

We can enjoy the gifts He's given us in Eternity.

But really- don't we have work to do now? Our calling?

Just something to think on.

FOLLOW-UP QUESTION:
Can our gifts become an idol of ours?

Knowing Is Half The Battle

Obviously, you've heard the expression, "Knowing is half the battle". It's used in ads ranging from various diseases and STDs to game show slogans.

Why am I using it today?

Because we completely misunderstand demons.

We paint horns on them, and draw them as hideous monsters. They love causing death and destruction, blood and war. And this is the wrong way to understand demons.

What are demons? As us humans understand through Scripture, demons are angels fallen from heaven who have chosen to follow the first fallen angel, Satan. They are spiritual beings, whereas humans are physical/spiritual beings. Of two natures.

It says in the Scriptures that Satan comes in the form of an angel of light. He doesn't come for you in fire and brimstone, with a pitchfork and fangs. He instead chooses to imitate the beauty of God's angels.

I think the most common misconception on the devil and demons is the way they work. We think they kill people close to us, or cause immediate pain. What we think of as physical evil acts.

But CS Lewis, in his wonderful book "The Screwtape Letters", puts it another way through the view of Screwtape, the demon mentoring the younger one Wormwood. Screwtape chides Wormwood for being so excited when Wormwood observes the beginnings of WWII. Screwtape tells Wormwood that although it might be slightly entertaining, war is bad for their cause. Death and near-death experiences cause humans to reconsider life and God. An athiest will often pray on his death bed.

There's a great quote that was in one of my teacher's classroom. It said:

"Apathy is the glove into which evil slips its hand."

That's the way demons and the devil work. They deceive by lulling us to sleep, numbing us to things like God. They don't attack directly. No, they use a means of distraction.

Often, we don't even catch that they've diverted us from the right path until much later in life. They can deceive a Christian into believing things about the Bible that aren't actually there. They can deceive a Christian to walk around threatening people with Hell unless they convert.

Demons are behind the scenes bad guys who are like the puppet masters. They don't really DO anything. They place thoughts. Like how Satan simply asked Eve, "Did he really say you can't eat from any tree in the Garden?" and other questons. Simply pushing her in that direction without actually doing anything.

Demons are, for lack of a better term, psychologists. But there is some REALLY good news.

Ted Dekker, in his novel "The Slumber of Christianity", describes Satan as a beast in death throws. Wounded, already deafeated, and yet insistent on continuing trying to win. The war is over.

It's nearly Easter by our calendars, which is a day we take to commemorate the winning of a war. Jesus crushed the Serpent's head under his foot.

In Revelation, there are a lot of scary things. They talk about Christians becoming horribly persecuted, and people being killed unless the bow to demons. But here's the great part: it's just a battle! Already, God and Jesus have won the war! Those massive events that they say will stretch on for years and years- in the eyes of a completely immortal, indestructable King, that's only a few moments! It's one battle!

It's Satan's last stand, his last desperate attempt to win. And I think he already knows he is going to lose.

Lot's of people are scared of demons and such. When we are in Christ, we don't need to be! Sure, we need to acknowledge them, but we are also so protected by Him that the demons can't hurt us unless He allows it! So you know what we can do to Satan?

We can stand there and laugh at him. Because he can't stand being mocked. Demons can't stand it when we are aware of their presence but feel no fear. And we feel no fear because the war is already won- our Lord rose from the grave and conquered death! He won the war!

It's Easter! God bless.

But I do not do what I want to do.

"For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now, if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that is good. So now it is no longer I who did it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to do what is right. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who did it, but sin that dwells within me." -Romans 7: 15-20

Wow. If you're like most people, by now you are scratching your head and saying, "Whu?".

Me too.

When we fell from grace, we fell hard. I like to think of it like this:

Imagine this beautiful sort of forest, massive in size but doesn't fill the entire world. It's got boundaries too. There's this feeling of happiness, like those lazy summer days without the laziness. No discomfort from heat- everything is like climate controlled and awesome. Everything is beautifully dark green, and simple. The animals don't fight. The fruit is always perfectly ripe. There's this sort of subconcious music playing all the time, and people feel it more than hear it. It's like a wonderful dream.

But then we ate what we shouldn't have. And there was this sudden falling feeling, like when something goes very wrong and you feel your stomach fall. And you can't hear the music anymore. And there's this sort of massive vibration you can't hear, but you feel, like a sonic boom. Everything is quiet, and everything seems rougher.

This is the fall.

Ted Dekker, in 'Black', puts this story into a wonderful new form. There are two forests: the Colored Forest and the Black Forest. The Colored Forest is full of beautiful trees and takes up almost the entire land. But this Black Forest is scary, and all the trees seem dead. There's a massive green river dividing the two, and a small white bridge. Good and Evil in physical form, divided only slightly.

Eventually, one of the characters drinks some of Teeleh(Satan)'s water while ignoring Elyon(God)'s command. The Shataiki bats, these giant black bats of Teeleh's, swarm across the river in a massive black tidal wave. As soon as they cross, things start to die. Whenever the horde passes Elyon's trees and fruit, it withers. These huge bats attack anything living. And everything just starts dying.

This is our sin nature. Temptation and doubt led us to the Fall. Faith and wisdom will have lead us to God.

Paul puts the sin nature right there on the table, in words a small child can understand. In bullet-point fashion:

-We know what's right, but don't do it.
-We desire to do what's right, but don't.
-We desire to always do what's right, but can't. (...I know nothing good dwells in my flesh.)
-We are incapable of doing the completely right thing without God.

I see this in myself all the time. I am constantly aware of when I'm sinning, and so many times I do so willfully. So, questions to mull over:

-What does it take for us to be able to- with God's help- do the right thing?
-Considering 98% of our sins are willful, how can we be forgiven when we are told willful sinning is not forgiven?
-Is willful sinning sinning and not caring at all or knowing it's wrong (like Paul said) and doing it?

You see, the last two can, for all intensive purposes, be put into black and white.

Sinning and not feeling any remorse or caring is WRONG.

Sinning while understand it's wrong and having any guilt at all is how we should feel. And it's hard. It's VERY difficult to feel bad for your sin. I'd say 50-55% of my prayers are "Lord, make me hate and feel guilt for my sin."

Referencing Ted Dekker again (love this author), there's another set of events in the book 'Black' which I absolutely love, though not for the same reasons most Christians do.

Thomas Hunter, so desperately wanting to know and speak with Elyon, jumps head-first into Elyon's water. This would be something like trying to look at God.

Anyway, he get's in there, and, in Ted's own words, 'immediately knew it was a mistake'. Just a few seconds after complete submersion, Thomas begins to ripped to pieces. At first it's like he's being electrified, and then as he's drowning, the water turns red. He feels the pain of his own sin and hears the weeping of Elyon as he feels Thom's pain, as Elyon shoulders it. It literally almost kills Thomas, and he's about to die, when he hears Elyon screaming in pain, weeping in agony as he completely shoulders Thom's sin. And then Thomas really wants to die.

Most people love this scene because it shows how much God cares about us, but that's only one of the reasons I love it. I love it because it reminds me that if I were to stare my own sins in the face, I would literally be torn apart. It would kill me. I wouldn't be able to handle it. It would not only kill you, it would literally feel like you should be un-created.

And I'll admit, I almost cried reading that 3-4 page scene in the book of Thomas in the lake. Not only because of finally feeling like someone understands what would happen if we were to see our sin, but because the next part, which is why most people love it.

Finally, Thomas' pain stops and he is overwhelmed by raw joy and pleasure, not just because of what he's just seen but because it's being thrown at him by the lake. It's Elyon's joy. Thomas breathes in the water, and is fine. And he's laughing and swimming in it, and a voice asks him "Do you like it?". Ted describes the next part as Thomas shouting yes with every possible fiber of his being, both with voice and soul. And the voice says. "I made this." And while Thomas is still just so overwhelmed by the experience, Elyon tells him that he is loved.

It's got to be one of my favorite scenes in a book EVER. Because it just hit every note.

We have a sin nature that has consumed us so much it's nearly impossible to do the right thing. And when we try to do the right thing, it comes out all twisted and messed up. We have alterior motives and adulterous hearts.

It's impossible for us to do true good in the world, because only God is capable of true good. And I hope that when I finally see him, I can 'jump into the lake', because only once I've seen my sin and felt that pain will I ever even begin to understand what true goodness is.

*I'm a saint, I'm a sinner. I'm a lover and fighter. I'm a true believer with great desire.*
- This Is Who I Am, Third Day

Well

*Rhythmical moving,
emotions are rising,
quivering to music,
trembling bodies in song.
Go unsteadily sliding,
devious gliding.
So beautifully sailing and floating on.
Life's real when angels and serpents dance.*
-When Angels and Serpents Dance, P.O.D

This blog isn't about answering the questions that are being asked so much as it is to inspire readers to think about these questions. These ideas. These thoughts.

I'm not perfect. I don't know the Bible cover to cover (yet, hopefully.). But I'm a truth seeker, searching for answers from a Christian perspective.

Rob Bell, pastor at Mars Hill Church, defines it this way:

"The word theology comes from two parts. Theos, meaning God. And logos, meanings talk or speak. Theology: God talk. Anyone can do theology."-Rob Bell, Jesus Wants to Save Christians

So, I'm definitely not perfect, and I don't have all the answers to these questions I'm posting. But I'm hoping that, by inspiring you to dive deep into the amazing world of theology and the Bible, we all can learn and grow in Christ.

Know this: As well as being a truth seeker, I'm a doubting Thomas. I'm the person who wants to put his hand on the scars before he believes, not after. My doubts are part of the inspiration to start a blog that can help people think about the same huge questions someone like Thomas would've pondered. Just because you doubt doesn't mean you don't believe. If you're worried about your doubts, you haven't lost your faith or gone astray. A dead fig tree doesn't worry about such things, because a tree worried about bearing fruit isn't dead.

Also, know another thing: I'm not building off of any theology, really. I'm a Calvinist, but I'm just reading the Bible in context and thinking about exactly what it says.

I trust CS Lewis and John Calvin the most when it comes to matters of theology, but I'm not taking anything from them. I'm trying to remove myself from all prerequisites and demands, just as Paul prayed.

God bless. Dive deep.

I don't believe in love- I think

*Love is here, Love is now. Love is pouring from His hands, from His brow.*

I've been thinking (surprise surprise), and I'm not sure humans can love.

There's some philosopher who speculated that 98% of human actions is motivated by sexual desire.

Now, that being said, from everything I've seen, love is completely chemical and hormonal. Teens will say 'I'm in love with you' because their hormones are raging, thus tricking them into thinking they are in love.

Does this mean all feelings of love are chemical? Like my previous questions on good and evil, is love purely in the mind due to chemicals like pheromones and adrenaline?

This brings me to my next thought: Did God create humans as creatures who understand good, evil, and love through science? Did God create human beings as unique creatures because they understand these things through scientific chemical means?

While God and his angels understand true love and the notions of good(right) and evil(wrong) through the soul, do humans subconsciously understand these things through the way God has created the chemicals in the mind? And, more importantly, does this mean that God and Evil, in the human world, are very physical things?

It's been proven that by altering chemicals in people's minds will affect their personalities. While this may sound very science-ee, the mots simple example would be anti-depressants. They help the brain release chemicals so that you are HAPPIER.

I know I come across very skeptical, and sort of like Brennan on "Bones", but I feel this is something important to think about. There's an episode of the Mentalist where a company claims to have created a "Morality Engine". It's a machine that can stimulate a person's mind so that they are actually good or evil. While the end of the episode reveals that the machine is a fake and they were paying off the testers, it does raise the question: could a person be manipulated into being good or evil? And, drawing on my last entry, what are good and evil?

I believe that Jesus Christ, as a son of God, was definitely capable of true, non-chemical based love. His love was God's love. His love was REAL love. Jesus' love didn't come from chemicals in the brain. Jesus Christ-Yeshua's- love didn't come from anything but true love. That's why he died for us.

So, are humans capable of the same kind of love?

Good and Evil

My dad and I were watching some of the old Smallville episodes the other day- we're big Superman fans here- and he pointed out something interesting.

We were watching the first episode of season two (to those of you who know your Smallville, that's when Clark is AWOL from life and running renegade in Metropolis...), in which Clark Kent is wearing a 'red kryptonite' ring. While in contact with Red Kryptonite, a Kryptonian (in this case, Clark) loses all inhibitions. Clark starts robbing backs while using his powers, and just acting like a complete jerk. He's in total rebellion.

So my dad asked, "So are good and evil chemical related to Kryptonians? Like, since he can become this way just by coming in contact with a mineral?"

Now, of course, I resisted the urge to blurt out that Red K is not, in fact, a mineral but a radioactive piece of Krypton changed while traveling through space, by my desire to enter this conversation and to hide my complete dorkiness prevented me from doing so.

Anyway, we talked about it for a while, and I left the conversation thinking:

Is good and evil a chemical thing? Is it just something in our brains?

Or is good and evil in the soul?

Is the reason humans are unique and loved by God because our good and evil is scientific? Or are humans special because the free will in our souls controls and enables good and evil for us?

What is evil? What is good?

You can instantly- and probably will- say good and evil are like right and wrong. You just know, somehow. It's good to help people and be nice. It's evil to kill and be a jerk.

Right?

What is true evil? Can humans be good? At what point does the man become the monster? When does evil enter a child? Are humans, after this fall, capable of anything but evil disguised as good?

Is good and evil in the mind, in science? Are there only evil acts, and no evil people?

Or is good and evil in the soul? Are there evil people and good people?

Will be exploring this in later entries....

"You say human like it's a bad thing."
"...Just going on what I've seen." -Clark and Milton Fein, Smallville season 5