*When did you get so watered down?
I thought your blood was thick.*
Lost Continent
I try to keep this blog from being about me too much (admittedly I fail miserably sometimes), but right now I just kind of need a bit of an outlet.
Lately, I've felt incredible burnt out spiritually. It's been a really hard year for a lot of reasons and I can tell it's really taken a toll on my faith.
I've always been terrified that I'm one of those Christians who burns bright for a moment and then burns out entirely and loses the way. Or that I'm just a tree that doesn't bear fruit. Honestly, I don't think my faith has ever made a significant impact on anyone in my life, no matter how hard I try to make it the central axis of my life.
I see people- people my age- who are honest, real influences. They're involved in things like causes, they can recite verses from memory, they know so much, they read so many books I've never even considered, and it's just like... That's who I want to be. Why am I not?
I'm terrible at remembering references of verses. I can barely ever get words out straight unless I'm writing them out. I'm not involved in any causes, I'm not making a difference or really delivering a message. I'm a kid with a blog, wishing I was more than I actually am.
I think if I'm blatantly honest, my faith has plateaued. Something that should never happen for a Christian. We should always be learning and growing. But I'm not. I'm stuck in place and I don't know why and I don't want to be. I used to have an incredible certainty and passion for Christ and for a while I was able to really use it to help people, but now it's like it's gone.
I keep trying to help people but the words don't come as easily and it's like I'm forcing them out instead of having them just pour out of me from the Holy Spirit like they used to. Maybe my time of usefulness has finished. Maybe my purpose was to help in those situations and now that it's complete I just have to wait until Heaven and see if I can make it.
I try reading lately but I don't get any feeling from what I read. I pray constantly but it's like talking to a wall. I'm so frustrated and stressed and I just don't get it. I've always been sure that God's purpose for me was to help people, but I'm not in any condition to help anyone. I can't do anyone any good like this.
Honestly, a lot of crap has happened this year that I haven't been able to let go of in part. There's a lot of stuff that happened that I feel like I could've stopped from happening for people, but I didn't. And that just makes me feel like I'm not living up to my purpose. So maybe I've stopped bearing fruit. Maybe my faith isn't what I thought it was. I don't know.
I'm just confused and exhausted and frustrated right now.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Get Over Yourself And Start A War
"I hear so many Christians murmuring about their imperfections and their failures and their addictions and their shortcomings and I see so little war! "Murmur, murmur, murmur, why am I this way?" MAKE WAR!" --John Piper
Ever since I was a child, I have been a Christian.
Not because this was forced on me. True, I was raised in the church and taught about Scripture from an early age, but this was not my motivation.
My faith has never been my parents' faith which I inherited like hair color, eye color, or my unfortunate height. At least, I've always striven to prove this. I certainly hope this is the case. All I know is that Christianity is the only thing that makes any sense to me after what I've seen in my life.
But you must also know another thing about me.
Ever since I was a child, I have been a Thomas. I have been on the fence. I have been a doubter, a failure, and a seeker all along side of being a believer.
This doubt is not in the power of Christ, or in the truth of the Gospel, or in anything the Bible says.
This doubt is in myself.
Time and time again, I have asked myself in life:
'Am I REALLY a Christian? Is my faith real? Am I 'bearing fruit'?'
This stems not only from a complete lack of faith in myself but from an inability to believe in God's promises, in His grace.
He says that if I give Him my heart just once in my life, He will hold it forever into eternity.
So why doubt that? Why constantly torture myself, weakening my own faith by my own insecurities and pains? God has saved me. Yet even as I type that sentence, I feel that question rush over me like a tidal wave.
'Am I really saved? Am I really a Christian? Am I really meeting up to what I need to be?'
Obviously, I'm aware that I could never 'meet up' to what God deserves as a servant. This thought is accompanied by a works based faith that comes from arrogance just as much as it does insecurity. So why do I torture myself?
Clearly, I have some trust issues. I acknowledge this. I don't trust people. I don't often have faith in them. Also, I don't trust my Father enough or the promises He has made.
I am constantly worrying about the state of my soul. I am constantly asking, 'Is it neat enough, tidy enough, is it working right' and so on. Like a mechanic obsessing over a car.
This fear, this doubt, hinders me. Cripples me. Keeps me from being the light I could be. And I know that you have, at some point in your life, felt this same fear.
'Where is my heart? Am I truly a Christian? Have I really been saved?'
I remember this one time, I was working on a project for school with a partner. It was some kind of artsy thingamajig-- a poster or a presentation. I vaguely remember a movie. But I remember getting SO FRUSTRATED with him at times because every time we'd start making progress, he'd go back and triple check what we'd just finished. It was impossible to make any headway. Obviously I wanted the project to be good too, but he was so caught up in making sure things were 'right', that things were 'perfect' or 'up to standards' that we made so little progress. And it just drove me CRAZY. I was like, 'If we don't just start, we'll never get anywhere! Sometimes you just have to go!'
Do you ever wonder if this is how Jesus sometimes feels with you?
Like you're so worried about the state of your own soul, the state of your own affairs, that you're missing the point?
Like He's trying to teach you and you just won't hear Him 'cause you're so busy making sure you're meeting some kind of standard or definition of Christian?
Guess what guys?
STOP IT.
Don't take what I'm about to say the wrong way, as it can be interpreted different than how I truly mean it:
STOP WORRYING ABOUT YOUR SOUL.
We get so wrapped up in our own salvation and making sure we're 'good Christians' that we miss out on what really matters--
OTHER PEOPLE'S SOULS.
Stop worrying whether you're going to heaven or hell and just SERVE GOD. Just work for the good of His cause and for others. Stop scrutinizing yourself and keeping yourself from being a part of the world and truly helping people. Stop worrying about whether you go to heaven or hell. Worry about how you are AFFECTING YOUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS.
Are you leading them to God or away from God?
Some of you will be saying, 'But if we don't focus on fixing ourselves, what if we mess up and misrepresent God?'
Stop it.
Guess what? God created the entire universe! You think He only uses Christians to deliver his message? WRONG. He uses EVERYTHING. If God wants someone's attention, trust me, He'll get it Himself, one way or another.
Stop worrying about whether you are being a perfect example of a Christian. 'Cause guess what? Ya can't be. You'll never be that.
But if you keep obsessing, if you keep yourself locked up in your own heart focused on dealing with your failures and shortcomings, you will miss what your true mission is.
Your mission is to bring TRUTH AND LOVE TO OTHERS. Yes, you will screw up occasionally. But God uses every little screw up in some way or another to not only teach you but to teach all of the other people in the world.
God's creation is one giant social network. One person can't do something without affecting EVERYONE else in some small way. That's what being part of creation is.
Get out there, trust that God will guide you, pray, follow His word, and most importantly:
Stop being a Christian focused on your own salvation.
Start being a Christian focused on spreading the good news to as many as you can.
I know I am guilty of focusing on my own salvation. I worry too much. I am scared not of dying, but of hell. I admit this. I want to be saved. But it's not the fear of hell that makes you a Christian, it's the recognition of sin and the acceptance of Jesus Christ as your King.
So here's my new philosophy (and this may be wrong, this is just what is on my heart lately)-
I'm done caring what happens to me. Because this is not about me. It's about others. It's about bringing Him glory. It's not about saving my soul and where I will end up after I die. It's about trying to show others that He is the truth.
I would much rather end up in hell knowing I had helped save on soul than end up in heaven and realize I spent my whole life focused on the state of my soul alone.
Maybe that's asking for trouble. Maybe when the judgment day comes, I'll find out my faith was not what real faith should look like. But I'm going to try to bring as many people to Christ as I can now. Because it's not about me anymore. It's about my brothers and sisters, and it's about Him- my father.
OUR Father.
Yes, I am terrified of the idea of finding out at the Second Coming that I am doomed to hell rather than so blessed as to rest with my Father in Heaven. But if I keep constantly scrutinizing my soul because of that fear, if I keep constantly 'checking my faith to see if it's right', I will become so self-centered I won't be any good to what truly matters--
Bringing God glory.
So wake up. Get up, go out, proclaim! You've gotta let people know what you've heard. Give them the same Good News you've heard.
Your sin will be there until the second coming. But if you over-emphasize it, if you let it control your life through fear of failure, you will lose sight of the most important part of God's grace-- the fact that He took it upon Himself to nullify our sins. God is working each and every second of the day to shape you in His image if He has chosen you. So take heart in that, trust in that, and get to work.
You've got more important things to do than save your soul. Let me rephrase-- You've got more important things to do than save your soul only and no one else'. Get out into the world and be a light. Live selflessly and proclaim the truth of Jesus Christ. Spread his message and teach people how they should then live.
You think you can't do it? You think you aren't ready?
God is working EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY on YOUR TRANSFORMATION. You aren't the one doing the work here- God is.
So trust Him to use you and stop caring about yourself.
God bless.
PS- If I was at all unclear or there is anything you'd wish to discuss/point out/refute, I'm all ears. Just hit me up in either the comments section below or via e-mail at...
dystopiandino@yahoo.com
Thanks. Love to you all! :)
Ever since I was a child, I have been a Christian.
Not because this was forced on me. True, I was raised in the church and taught about Scripture from an early age, but this was not my motivation.
My faith has never been my parents' faith which I inherited like hair color, eye color, or my unfortunate height. At least, I've always striven to prove this. I certainly hope this is the case. All I know is that Christianity is the only thing that makes any sense to me after what I've seen in my life.
But you must also know another thing about me.
Ever since I was a child, I have been a Thomas. I have been on the fence. I have been a doubter, a failure, and a seeker all along side of being a believer.
This doubt is not in the power of Christ, or in the truth of the Gospel, or in anything the Bible says.
This doubt is in myself.
Time and time again, I have asked myself in life:
'Am I REALLY a Christian? Is my faith real? Am I 'bearing fruit'?'
This stems not only from a complete lack of faith in myself but from an inability to believe in God's promises, in His grace.
He says that if I give Him my heart just once in my life, He will hold it forever into eternity.
So why doubt that? Why constantly torture myself, weakening my own faith by my own insecurities and pains? God has saved me. Yet even as I type that sentence, I feel that question rush over me like a tidal wave.
'Am I really saved? Am I really a Christian? Am I really meeting up to what I need to be?'
Obviously, I'm aware that I could never 'meet up' to what God deserves as a servant. This thought is accompanied by a works based faith that comes from arrogance just as much as it does insecurity. So why do I torture myself?
Clearly, I have some trust issues. I acknowledge this. I don't trust people. I don't often have faith in them. Also, I don't trust my Father enough or the promises He has made.
I am constantly worrying about the state of my soul. I am constantly asking, 'Is it neat enough, tidy enough, is it working right' and so on. Like a mechanic obsessing over a car.
This fear, this doubt, hinders me. Cripples me. Keeps me from being the light I could be. And I know that you have, at some point in your life, felt this same fear.
'Where is my heart? Am I truly a Christian? Have I really been saved?'
I remember this one time, I was working on a project for school with a partner. It was some kind of artsy thingamajig-- a poster or a presentation. I vaguely remember a movie. But I remember getting SO FRUSTRATED with him at times because every time we'd start making progress, he'd go back and triple check what we'd just finished. It was impossible to make any headway. Obviously I wanted the project to be good too, but he was so caught up in making sure things were 'right', that things were 'perfect' or 'up to standards' that we made so little progress. And it just drove me CRAZY. I was like, 'If we don't just start, we'll never get anywhere! Sometimes you just have to go!'
Do you ever wonder if this is how Jesus sometimes feels with you?
Like you're so worried about the state of your own soul, the state of your own affairs, that you're missing the point?
Like He's trying to teach you and you just won't hear Him 'cause you're so busy making sure you're meeting some kind of standard or definition of Christian?
Guess what guys?
STOP IT.
Don't take what I'm about to say the wrong way, as it can be interpreted different than how I truly mean it:
STOP WORRYING ABOUT YOUR SOUL.
We get so wrapped up in our own salvation and making sure we're 'good Christians' that we miss out on what really matters--
OTHER PEOPLE'S SOULS.
Stop worrying whether you're going to heaven or hell and just SERVE GOD. Just work for the good of His cause and for others. Stop scrutinizing yourself and keeping yourself from being a part of the world and truly helping people. Stop worrying about whether you go to heaven or hell. Worry about how you are AFFECTING YOUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS.
Are you leading them to God or away from God?
Some of you will be saying, 'But if we don't focus on fixing ourselves, what if we mess up and misrepresent God?'
Stop it.
Guess what? God created the entire universe! You think He only uses Christians to deliver his message? WRONG. He uses EVERYTHING. If God wants someone's attention, trust me, He'll get it Himself, one way or another.
Stop worrying about whether you are being a perfect example of a Christian. 'Cause guess what? Ya can't be. You'll never be that.
But if you keep obsessing, if you keep yourself locked up in your own heart focused on dealing with your failures and shortcomings, you will miss what your true mission is.
Your mission is to bring TRUTH AND LOVE TO OTHERS. Yes, you will screw up occasionally. But God uses every little screw up in some way or another to not only teach you but to teach all of the other people in the world.
God's creation is one giant social network. One person can't do something without affecting EVERYONE else in some small way. That's what being part of creation is.
Get out there, trust that God will guide you, pray, follow His word, and most importantly:
Stop being a Christian focused on your own salvation.
Start being a Christian focused on spreading the good news to as many as you can.
I know I am guilty of focusing on my own salvation. I worry too much. I am scared not of dying, but of hell. I admit this. I want to be saved. But it's not the fear of hell that makes you a Christian, it's the recognition of sin and the acceptance of Jesus Christ as your King.
So here's my new philosophy (and this may be wrong, this is just what is on my heart lately)-
I'm done caring what happens to me. Because this is not about me. It's about others. It's about bringing Him glory. It's not about saving my soul and where I will end up after I die. It's about trying to show others that He is the truth.
I would much rather end up in hell knowing I had helped save on soul than end up in heaven and realize I spent my whole life focused on the state of my soul alone.
Maybe that's asking for trouble. Maybe when the judgment day comes, I'll find out my faith was not what real faith should look like. But I'm going to try to bring as many people to Christ as I can now. Because it's not about me anymore. It's about my brothers and sisters, and it's about Him- my father.
OUR Father.
Yes, I am terrified of the idea of finding out at the Second Coming that I am doomed to hell rather than so blessed as to rest with my Father in Heaven. But if I keep constantly scrutinizing my soul because of that fear, if I keep constantly 'checking my faith to see if it's right', I will become so self-centered I won't be any good to what truly matters--
Bringing God glory.
So wake up. Get up, go out, proclaim! You've gotta let people know what you've heard. Give them the same Good News you've heard.
Your sin will be there until the second coming. But if you over-emphasize it, if you let it control your life through fear of failure, you will lose sight of the most important part of God's grace-- the fact that He took it upon Himself to nullify our sins. God is working each and every second of the day to shape you in His image if He has chosen you. So take heart in that, trust in that, and get to work.
You've got more important things to do than save your soul. Let me rephrase-- You've got more important things to do than save your soul only and no one else'. Get out into the world and be a light. Live selflessly and proclaim the truth of Jesus Christ. Spread his message and teach people how they should then live.
You think you can't do it? You think you aren't ready?
God is working EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY on YOUR TRANSFORMATION. You aren't the one doing the work here- God is.
So trust Him to use you and stop caring about yourself.
God bless.
PS- If I was at all unclear or there is anything you'd wish to discuss/point out/refute, I'm all ears. Just hit me up in either the comments section below or via e-mail at...
dystopiandino@yahoo.com
Thanks. Love to you all! :)
Friday, December 17, 2010
Foreverandeverandeverandeverandeverandeverandever...
As I am writing this, I am sitting in a coffee shop looking out the window.
Outside, a train is passing by through the town center. Old fashioned, yet classy. I wish I could take a picture and show you all, because between the snow, thin dark trees, old fashioned train station, and setting sun, it looks awesome. Just awesome.
Why am I talking about a train?
This train has been going by for at least the last 30 minutes.
Oh, it's gone now...
Anyway. That was a LONG train. And it wasn't even going slow. 30 minutes of one train passing. Wow.
What on earth does that have to do with anything, and why am I babbling on about a very long train?
I've been thinking about time. Eternity. Continuum. (No, not the John Mayer album.)
I love a good ending. A solid ending that ties up all the loose ends. It doesn't necessarily have to be a happy ending per se, just one that really closes the book, so to speak. The lights dim, the credits roll, that's it.
I hate it when things drag on...and on...and on... And before you know you've just sat through all 4 hours of 'Gods and Generals' and you want to throw yourself out of the theater, screaming, 'WHY?!'
Sorry. Personal childhood trauma. I love movies typically, but Gods and Generals is an exception.
Back on topic. (Oh look, the train is back now! Both my train of thought and the afore-mentioned train.)
I like solid endings. I like conclusions.
So, I get kind of baffled at the promise of Eternity in Heaven after the Second Coming.
Part of me is like, 'What am I going to DO for eternity???'
Honestly, the idea of dying doesn't scare me. You live life, credits roll, the end. I sometimes find the idea of eternity more perplexing.
Eternity is a concept completely beyond our grasp. As fallen humans, we cannot comprehend what eternity actually means. In our world, we think in time. We think linearly.
So, there's not an end. It just keeps going.
That's one of the things I find some fascinating about God- We will have an ETERNITY with him and we will never learn everything there is to know about Him. We will have an ETERNITY with Him and never get tired of it. In fact, we're going to love it.
Which confuses me, since I barely made it through a 4 hour documentary without screaming in frustration and boredom.
Me? I'm never going to get bored? I'm not only going to be satisfied, but constantly in a state of amazement and excitement?
There's a saying that says 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder.' But that's not how it's going to work with God. To say 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder' is so very linear in thinking, so very human.
But in a world where time will not exist in the sense we think of it, and in a world where we will be constantly captivated by God, that doesn't apply.
Kind of mind-boggling, huh?
Not only will we never suffer again when He returns, we will never be BORED again.
It's like being a goldfish. Memory span of 3 seconds, so constantly seeing everything for the first time. Every time a goldfish sees something, it's technically the first time that goldfish has ever seen it.
I'm not saying we'll be reduced to the mental capacity of goldfish. Far from it.
But the fact that we will be able to be surprised and awed for an Eternity is...
Wow.
That's big.
That's exciting.
That sounds like a real adventure.
So does that mean there is no conclusion? Does that mean that there is no real 'stopping place'? No, human reincarnation isn't real. But the Bible promises that God's people will exist with Him in Eternity.
Eternity isn't just a place, it's a way.
They will exist with Him IN His eternity, as offered to us as a gift. It's a way. It's a form of existence. Unending, I guess.
AND, to top it off, God's people will exists with Him in ETERNITY. It's a place too. We are going to be in the same place as God, our Father, our King.
We are going to be in the same place as Him, and we'll be with Him in that place forever.
There is no more death, therefore there is no more 'the end'.
The Roman philosopher Athanacius referred to the death as 'the great offense' against God's creation. "Death was undoing what God had made." Death, the introduction of linear time into Creation.
So God will be pulling out the ending.
Christians so commonly refer to the Second Coming as a kind of finale, a kind of end. But the truth is, it's the real beginning. It's when life will ACTUALLY start. When things will be the way they are supposed to be, and they'll stay that way.
I admit, the idea of Eternity baffles me. Confuses me. Almost worries me, even.
But God has asked me to attend, and I'm in absolutely no position to say 'no' to an invitation from the creator of the universe itself. When God calls, we go.
This linear world will eventually end. Not to sound like a doomsday prophet, but we only have until then to decide whether or not we will take His invitation and be willing to join him.
In the words of CS Lewis, 'Christianity, if true, is of every importance, and if false, of no importance. What it cannot be is moderately important.'
This is something you have to make a decision on. This can't be put off until later. This will be THE MOST important choice of your life.
In the words of the band Reilly, 'We are running on limited time, sleep-walking half our lives.'
In the words of Jack Shephard from LOST, 'If we don't live together, we're going to die alone.'
This is an encouragement-
Seek truth. If you are looking for answers, dig. You will find them. Rather, He will find you. Matters of the soul can't be put off for a later date.
You have an open invitation from your Father who loves you to join Him. All you have to do is ask Him into Your life.
It sounds cheesy, but it's the best decision I ever made. Or He made for me. (We can have a debate about predestination in Eternity.)
Christmas is soon. The Christimas story is pivotal because it is about the introduction of Eternity into a linear world, a collision between forms of existence and power.
Much love to you all, brothers and sisters. God bless, and merry Christmas. :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4tcRlHY-3Q
Outside, a train is passing by through the town center. Old fashioned, yet classy. I wish I could take a picture and show you all, because between the snow, thin dark trees, old fashioned train station, and setting sun, it looks awesome. Just awesome.
Why am I talking about a train?
This train has been going by for at least the last 30 minutes.
Oh, it's gone now...
Anyway. That was a LONG train. And it wasn't even going slow. 30 minutes of one train passing. Wow.
What on earth does that have to do with anything, and why am I babbling on about a very long train?
I've been thinking about time. Eternity. Continuum. (No, not the John Mayer album.)
I love a good ending. A solid ending that ties up all the loose ends. It doesn't necessarily have to be a happy ending per se, just one that really closes the book, so to speak. The lights dim, the credits roll, that's it.
I hate it when things drag on...and on...and on... And before you know you've just sat through all 4 hours of 'Gods and Generals' and you want to throw yourself out of the theater, screaming, 'WHY?!'
Sorry. Personal childhood trauma. I love movies typically, but Gods and Generals is an exception.
Back on topic. (Oh look, the train is back now! Both my train of thought and the afore-mentioned train.)
I like solid endings. I like conclusions.
So, I get kind of baffled at the promise of Eternity in Heaven after the Second Coming.
Part of me is like, 'What am I going to DO for eternity???'
Honestly, the idea of dying doesn't scare me. You live life, credits roll, the end. I sometimes find the idea of eternity more perplexing.
Eternity is a concept completely beyond our grasp. As fallen humans, we cannot comprehend what eternity actually means. In our world, we think in time. We think linearly.
So, there's not an end. It just keeps going.
That's one of the things I find some fascinating about God- We will have an ETERNITY with him and we will never learn everything there is to know about Him. We will have an ETERNITY with Him and never get tired of it. In fact, we're going to love it.
Which confuses me, since I barely made it through a 4 hour documentary without screaming in frustration and boredom.
Me? I'm never going to get bored? I'm not only going to be satisfied, but constantly in a state of amazement and excitement?
There's a saying that says 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder.' But that's not how it's going to work with God. To say 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder' is so very linear in thinking, so very human.
But in a world where time will not exist in the sense we think of it, and in a world where we will be constantly captivated by God, that doesn't apply.
Kind of mind-boggling, huh?
Not only will we never suffer again when He returns, we will never be BORED again.
It's like being a goldfish. Memory span of 3 seconds, so constantly seeing everything for the first time. Every time a goldfish sees something, it's technically the first time that goldfish has ever seen it.
I'm not saying we'll be reduced to the mental capacity of goldfish. Far from it.
But the fact that we will be able to be surprised and awed for an Eternity is...
Wow.
That's big.
That's exciting.
That sounds like a real adventure.
So does that mean there is no conclusion? Does that mean that there is no real 'stopping place'? No, human reincarnation isn't real. But the Bible promises that God's people will exist with Him in Eternity.
Eternity isn't just a place, it's a way.
They will exist with Him IN His eternity, as offered to us as a gift. It's a way. It's a form of existence. Unending, I guess.
AND, to top it off, God's people will exists with Him in ETERNITY. It's a place too. We are going to be in the same place as God, our Father, our King.
We are going to be in the same place as Him, and we'll be with Him in that place forever.
There is no more death, therefore there is no more 'the end'.
The Roman philosopher Athanacius referred to the death as 'the great offense' against God's creation. "Death was undoing what God had made." Death, the introduction of linear time into Creation.
So God will be pulling out the ending.
Christians so commonly refer to the Second Coming as a kind of finale, a kind of end. But the truth is, it's the real beginning. It's when life will ACTUALLY start. When things will be the way they are supposed to be, and they'll stay that way.
I admit, the idea of Eternity baffles me. Confuses me. Almost worries me, even.
But God has asked me to attend, and I'm in absolutely no position to say 'no' to an invitation from the creator of the universe itself. When God calls, we go.
This linear world will eventually end. Not to sound like a doomsday prophet, but we only have until then to decide whether or not we will take His invitation and be willing to join him.
In the words of CS Lewis, 'Christianity, if true, is of every importance, and if false, of no importance. What it cannot be is moderately important.'
This is something you have to make a decision on. This can't be put off until later. This will be THE MOST important choice of your life.
In the words of the band Reilly, 'We are running on limited time, sleep-walking half our lives.'
In the words of Jack Shephard from LOST, 'If we don't live together, we're going to die alone.'
This is an encouragement-
Seek truth. If you are looking for answers, dig. You will find them. Rather, He will find you. Matters of the soul can't be put off for a later date.
You have an open invitation from your Father who loves you to join Him. All you have to do is ask Him into Your life.
It sounds cheesy, but it's the best decision I ever made. Or He made for me. (We can have a debate about predestination in Eternity.)
Christmas is soon. The Christimas story is pivotal because it is about the introduction of Eternity into a linear world, a collision between forms of existence and power.
Much love to you all, brothers and sisters. God bless, and merry Christmas. :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4tcRlHY-3Q
Friday, October 15, 2010
Do Not Leave Baggage Unattended
I've been thinking about love a lot lately.
A million things spring to mind from the word love. It's one of those rare words that maintains its power and feeling throughout generations.
American culture is obsessed with love.
Most people would argue that these days it's actually sex, not love. I disagree. Our culture is obsessed with love to the point where it has become twisted and perverted out of the definition of the real thing.
People will take love wherever they can find it these days. Digging under what many call a sex-obsessed culture is just a world yearning for belonging and connection with other people.
A connection so surgically severed through the Fall.
The Bible is all about love.
Of course, you've heard that a thousand times. So that has probably lost its meaning at this point.
My girlfriend and I split up recently. Like all break-ups, it was not pleasant. I'll be the first to admit that I was not entirely blameless. However, the whole fiasco got me thinking about relationships and love.
(Admittedly, this was my first serious relationship, so I hesitate greatly to say I was 'in love'. I do know for sure I cared about this person a great deal.)
A few good friends of mine recently expressed a concern they had about myself. They told me they felt I tried too hard to make other people happy, despite the personal cost. This is something I felt was completely unfounded, since I am an admittedly selfish, arrogant person. These confrontations often wound up in very heated discussion. At one point, a friend was trying to give me advice and I was so caught up in the moment of the discussion I said exactly what I was feeling.
The funny thing about arguments with friends is they often function as incredible mirrors. They really do help you realize something about yourself you've never even admitted before.
The situation that had led to the end of my relationship with my girlfriend was very confusing and convoluted. It felt like lots of people were involved in something that should've just been between us two.
So, after the break-up, I'm having this argument with a friend who is trying to give me advice. And I blurted out something, in my anger, along the lines of:
"Why does it matter what I want? I just want these other people to be happy!"
My friend instantly showed me what I had said by repeating it verbatim. And it hit me like a hammer.
The Bible calls for selfless, sacrificial love in serving your brothers and sisters, doesn't it? The complete denial of one's self for the benefit of others.
But at the same time, in my attempts at that kind of love for others, I had successfully hurt some of the people I cared most about. In ignoring my own feelings and lying to myself to make others happy, I had pulled them and myself into a situation which would inevitably end with someone getting hurt.
Motive: To make everyone else happy.
Means: Complete denial of my own feelings.
Goal: To make everyone happy.
This ended badly.
So, what I'm wrestling with right now is this:
In attempting the kind of selfless love we as Christians are called to, I ended up lying to and hurting people I care about. Right?
But at the same time, I gave up everything for people I care about so they could be happy. I was loving them, wasn't I? There was no benefit for me in the situation. In fact, it caused me more grief and frustration than was ever necessary.
Where does loving others selflessly become self-denial?
Where did the good intention turn into something worse?
More importantly, DID it ever turn from good intention into something worse?
Did I do anything wrong?
Did I do anything right?
It seems there is a fine line between selflessness and self-deprecating.
I'm going to expound a little on this:
The Bible teaches that we are to love others before ourselves. However, it also teaches that any man who hates himself is incapable of actually GIVING love to others. This is often a case used with those who self-harm; if you can't learn to love yourself as a valuable child of God, you can't learn to love others in return.
Selflessness calls for us to be willing to lay down everything for God, despite our feelings. Emotions are fickle, so we are called to trust the word of the Bible as logical reason for actions.
We should always choose God's word over what we feel.
But what if, in trying to do so, we hurt those around us?
I'm in no way calling for us to trust our emotions over the Gospel.
We were created as beings of both logic and emotion; humans are both scientific and spiritual. This is something many people have trouble finding balance in. Some Christians weigh in on the side of science, saying emotion is just brain chemistry. This is where we get the very logical people. The other side of that coin is the lover, the person who puts more value in emotion and feeling than in science and logic.
It's tough to find the proper balance.
To quote the band Anberlin, 'There is no mathematics in love and loss.'
While I am moving on and have sufficiently closed the book on this chapter of my life, I continue to wonder about my actions. Did I do the right thing and handle the situation in a way pleasing to God? Did I do the wrong thing and handle it all wrong? Sometimes the best of intentions have the worst of consequences.
Am I dwelling on the issue? Maybe. But I do feel this is something that merits very careful meditation on the subject.
As I talked with another friend after everything went downhill, I told him I felt like I was a time-bomb. That no matter how hard I tried to do the right thing and honor God, I hurt at least one person in the process.
He proceeded to call me on my moronic ranting. He said something to the affect of:
"That's ridiculous. If you spend your life staying away from people, how are you doing what God has called you to do? How are you being in the world but not of it?"
It's great to have friends who are comfortable enough with you to call you on your crap.
As Christians in a sinful world, it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that we hurt those around us when doing the right thing. It's easy to assume that retreating from the situation will be the best for all others involved.
But when we try to pull away, we hurt those people we care about. Why?
Because in this fallen world, everyone is looking for love. Everyone is looking for acceptance.
The church is a community. We NEED other people around us to support us. We need our families, our friends.
By considering cutting off ties with people who needed me just because I was scared I would mess up again (and I indefinitely will at some point), I was not loving selflessly. In fact, not only was I denying these people love, I was causing them hurt because they didn't understand the retreat.
People need other people. We need to be there for each other. It's how humans manage to get by in this fallen world. People not only provide someone to lean on for others, they also serve as a reminder there is a hope we all hold on to.
I continue to search for the balance between selfless love and self-deprecation. I continue to wonder if love is about ignoring everything you feel to make others happy, or if that is really love at all.
Is it fair to others to completely ignore everything else you feel just to show them love and kindness? Or is this, in effect, lying to them?
Where does trying to be selfless become unfair?
I continue to wonder this while I move on, not because I'm dwelling, but because it is something that merits deep thought.
Tell me what you think, brothers and sisters.
A million things spring to mind from the word love. It's one of those rare words that maintains its power and feeling throughout generations.
American culture is obsessed with love.
Most people would argue that these days it's actually sex, not love. I disagree. Our culture is obsessed with love to the point where it has become twisted and perverted out of the definition of the real thing.
People will take love wherever they can find it these days. Digging under what many call a sex-obsessed culture is just a world yearning for belonging and connection with other people.
A connection so surgically severed through the Fall.
The Bible is all about love.
Of course, you've heard that a thousand times. So that has probably lost its meaning at this point.
My girlfriend and I split up recently. Like all break-ups, it was not pleasant. I'll be the first to admit that I was not entirely blameless. However, the whole fiasco got me thinking about relationships and love.
(Admittedly, this was my first serious relationship, so I hesitate greatly to say I was 'in love'. I do know for sure I cared about this person a great deal.)
A few good friends of mine recently expressed a concern they had about myself. They told me they felt I tried too hard to make other people happy, despite the personal cost. This is something I felt was completely unfounded, since I am an admittedly selfish, arrogant person. These confrontations often wound up in very heated discussion. At one point, a friend was trying to give me advice and I was so caught up in the moment of the discussion I said exactly what I was feeling.
The funny thing about arguments with friends is they often function as incredible mirrors. They really do help you realize something about yourself you've never even admitted before.
The situation that had led to the end of my relationship with my girlfriend was very confusing and convoluted. It felt like lots of people were involved in something that should've just been between us two.
So, after the break-up, I'm having this argument with a friend who is trying to give me advice. And I blurted out something, in my anger, along the lines of:
"Why does it matter what I want? I just want these other people to be happy!"
My friend instantly showed me what I had said by repeating it verbatim. And it hit me like a hammer.
The Bible calls for selfless, sacrificial love in serving your brothers and sisters, doesn't it? The complete denial of one's self for the benefit of others.
But at the same time, in my attempts at that kind of love for others, I had successfully hurt some of the people I cared most about. In ignoring my own feelings and lying to myself to make others happy, I had pulled them and myself into a situation which would inevitably end with someone getting hurt.
Motive: To make everyone else happy.
Means: Complete denial of my own feelings.
Goal: To make everyone happy.
This ended badly.
So, what I'm wrestling with right now is this:
In attempting the kind of selfless love we as Christians are called to, I ended up lying to and hurting people I care about. Right?
But at the same time, I gave up everything for people I care about so they could be happy. I was loving them, wasn't I? There was no benefit for me in the situation. In fact, it caused me more grief and frustration than was ever necessary.
Where does loving others selflessly become self-denial?
Where did the good intention turn into something worse?
More importantly, DID it ever turn from good intention into something worse?
Did I do anything wrong?
Did I do anything right?
It seems there is a fine line between selflessness and self-deprecating.
I'm going to expound a little on this:
The Bible teaches that we are to love others before ourselves. However, it also teaches that any man who hates himself is incapable of actually GIVING love to others. This is often a case used with those who self-harm; if you can't learn to love yourself as a valuable child of God, you can't learn to love others in return.
Selflessness calls for us to be willing to lay down everything for God, despite our feelings. Emotions are fickle, so we are called to trust the word of the Bible as logical reason for actions.
We should always choose God's word over what we feel.
But what if, in trying to do so, we hurt those around us?
I'm in no way calling for us to trust our emotions over the Gospel.
We were created as beings of both logic and emotion; humans are both scientific and spiritual. This is something many people have trouble finding balance in. Some Christians weigh in on the side of science, saying emotion is just brain chemistry. This is where we get the very logical people. The other side of that coin is the lover, the person who puts more value in emotion and feeling than in science and logic.
It's tough to find the proper balance.
To quote the band Anberlin, 'There is no mathematics in love and loss.'
While I am moving on and have sufficiently closed the book on this chapter of my life, I continue to wonder about my actions. Did I do the right thing and handle the situation in a way pleasing to God? Did I do the wrong thing and handle it all wrong? Sometimes the best of intentions have the worst of consequences.
Am I dwelling on the issue? Maybe. But I do feel this is something that merits very careful meditation on the subject.
As I talked with another friend after everything went downhill, I told him I felt like I was a time-bomb. That no matter how hard I tried to do the right thing and honor God, I hurt at least one person in the process.
He proceeded to call me on my moronic ranting. He said something to the affect of:
"That's ridiculous. If you spend your life staying away from people, how are you doing what God has called you to do? How are you being in the world but not of it?"
It's great to have friends who are comfortable enough with you to call you on your crap.
As Christians in a sinful world, it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that we hurt those around us when doing the right thing. It's easy to assume that retreating from the situation will be the best for all others involved.
But when we try to pull away, we hurt those people we care about. Why?
Because in this fallen world, everyone is looking for love. Everyone is looking for acceptance.
The church is a community. We NEED other people around us to support us. We need our families, our friends.
By considering cutting off ties with people who needed me just because I was scared I would mess up again (and I indefinitely will at some point), I was not loving selflessly. In fact, not only was I denying these people love, I was causing them hurt because they didn't understand the retreat.
People need other people. We need to be there for each other. It's how humans manage to get by in this fallen world. People not only provide someone to lean on for others, they also serve as a reminder there is a hope we all hold on to.
I continue to search for the balance between selfless love and self-deprecation. I continue to wonder if love is about ignoring everything you feel to make others happy, or if that is really love at all.
Is it fair to others to completely ignore everything else you feel just to show them love and kindness? Or is this, in effect, lying to them?
Where does trying to be selfless become unfair?
I continue to wonder this while I move on, not because I'm dwelling, but because it is something that merits deep thought.
Tell me what you think, brothers and sisters.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Finding Your Niche
I think that the thing everyone wants most in life is to find their place. The spot where they fit.
I'm not talking about fitting in or anything. I'm talking about finding and then leading the kind of life that satisfies.
Unfortunately, nothing on this huge, blue marble will ever satisfy. Ever. It may provide some slight satisfaction, but it does not provide ultimate satisfaction.
Again, I have to make a distinction: happiness and satisfaction.
What I'm talking about when I say satisfaction is just knowing that you are in the right place. If you know you are on the right path and are where you are supposed to be, it doesn't matter what kind of hardship or storms come- even if you are unhappy, you know you are in your place.
Your niche.
Your 'home', so to speak.
As I enter my final years of High School, people continually ask me where I want to go to college and what I want to major/minor in. Every time, I have to give a rather noncommital answer because, at this junction, I'm not sure where to go.
And they always respond the same way. "...Well, I'm sure you'll figure something out."
Which translates to, "This kid has no goals? No dreams? No motivation? He's in trouble."
It's not that I don't have dreams and things I aspire to. It's not that I don't have things I would like to accomplish before I die. I've got my 'Bucket List' so to speak.
People always expect you to choose a career path and then let your career define the rest of your lifestyle.
For instance, I had a Bible teacher who was also a musician. I knew another teacher who was write novels outside of his job.
When people hear that someone has a multi-faceted life, it tends to amaze them.
So when people take the time to genuinely listen to me about what I might want to do, they always use that response. "...Well, I'm sure you'll figure something out."
Mainly because all my ideas on what I wish to do with my life conflict with each other. Majorly.
How does one combine a comic book artist, a teacher, a pastor, a writer, a screenwriter and director, a musician, a veterinarian, an artist/photographer, a zoologist, and a psychologist/psychological profiler?
I've been thinking a lot about this lately.
It always seems to come down to two lists:
'What I Want' OR 'What God Wants For Me'
They tend to be really different.
Here's how you start:
1) Get a piece of paper.
2) Write down every possible career option you are interested in and leave some space between each one.
3) When you've done that, write a brief sentence explaining how this could be beneficial/helpful/enjoyable/whatever.
4) Read over your list.
5) This is the important one: Crumple up that list and throw it in the trash.
Exercise in futility, huh?
God has a plan for everyone. A predestination. It's all mapped out. However, as humans, we DO have a free will.
So maybe, instead of trying to lay out our life plans, we just need to start preparing. Training. Getting ready.
Be knowledgeable. Understand the world and the realities around us, and learn to live truly as an awakened Christian in society. Wake up and be ready.
Jesus uses the metaphor for the Second Coming of a 'thief in the night'. He tells us to be ready, because we don't know the day or the hour.
In Exodus, during the first Passover with Moses and the Israelites, they ate with their cloaks tucked into their belts. They made food that could be easily transported and didn't need to be carefully attended- unleavened bread. They stayed in huge groups sharing this meal, WAITING.
It was like a runner at his mark, waiting for the shot. Every fiber of his being is focused intently on his goal- mind, body, soul. Their cloaks were tucked in. They were ready to move. Ready to pack up and go.
Remember in Matthew 19, when the man comes to talk to Jesus about how to get eternal life? Jesus tells him to sell all his earthly possessions and follow Him. The man doesn't do it.
How about in Matthew 8:18-22? A guy comes up to Jesus and says, "I will follow you, just let me bury my dad." Jesus says (direct quote here):" Let the dead bury their own dead."
When I first heard that story, I thought Jesus was being kind of harsh. I mean, the guy just wants to bury his dad. What's so wrong about that? But sacrifice- REAL sacrifice- is the name of the game here, guys.
It all comes down to:
How much are you willing to give up?
In the Bible, when we are called to give up our lives for Christ, it isn't always a metaphor. There are real sacrifices that have to be made, but they shouldn't matter to you in comparison to Christ.
America is a culture steeped in greed and possessions.
You are defined by what you own.
Your nice house. Your nice car. Your taste in furniture. Your taste in music. What you can afford to eat. Money. Money. Money. Things. Things. Things.
I recently saw the movie 'Up In The Air' (George Clooney, 2010). In it, Clooney plays a man who spends 95% of his life on board planes and away from his apartment. He works for a company that hires out workers to other companies to fire people. He gets paid to fire people for other companies.
He has his life down to a science. He takes only what he needs, and discards all the rest- ESPECIALLY anything that might 'burden' him with a personal connection.
In multiple scenes, we watch him pack his small, black, rolling suitcase with what can only be defined as skill. Everything has its place. Take only necessities.
In one of the scenes of the movie, he is giving a lecture to other people like him, trying to explain how to cope with this kind of life. He tells everyone to imagine a backpack?
Got it yet? Once you have it envisioned, we move on.
He says to put EVERYTHING you own in it. This backpack is like one of those bottomless backpacks that can hold everything in old Loony Tunes cartoons. The backpack just gets bigger and bigger, but it never breaks!
He tells them to put EVERYTHING in there. House. Couch. iPod. Photos. Desk. Phone. Coffee table you bought. Computer. All of it.
Then, he jokes with them, telling them to try to walk. It's impossible.
Now he continues in his metaphor to include people and relationships- put them inside the bag too. That's where he and I are going to diverge for now.
So, you, a Christian on planet Earth, have all these things in your backpack. Only your material possessions. Not your relationships, none of that. Just what you OWN. Think of how much stuff that is.
Try tucking in your cloaks and running with all that.
Let's reconnect with the movie:
At the end of the scene, he tells his audience they need to burn their backpacks. Get rid of everything holding you back.
For the Christian- particularly an American Christian, I think- this holds great applicability. I'm not talking about the 'burn-your-connections-to-people-part'.
I'm ONLY talking about the 'burn-your-connections-to-possessions'.
(Let me clarify quickly: DO NOT go light anything on fire, please.)
My family worries about money a lot, which is something I've never really worried about that much. It's just money, it's just stuff. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter.
How many of you/your parents freak out when there's a car accident? How many of you/your parents would freak out if someone broke into your house and stole EVERYTHING YOU OWN?
If I were standing at the front of a classroom right now, I imagine I'd see lots of hands up.
Let's take a pause for a second to connect some dots, since I know this is a long one:
1) I started talking about finding your 'place' in the world.
2) Suddenly, I switched to talking about possessions and greed and money.
So, you're looking for your place and trying to define yourself. You define yourself with what you own and your appearance.
How many of us, if our houses burned down, would just shrug and say: 'Stuff happens.'
Maybe that's what we all need to learn to do!
Our over-attachment to material things is lulling us into a sleep so deep we have begun to lose connection with the single most important thing in our world: God Himself. We are practically comatose.
When Jesus sends out The Twelve in Matthew 10:9-10, he says:
"Do not take along any gold or silver or copper in your belts; take no bag for the journey, or extra tunic, or sandals or staff; for the worker is worth his keep."
Jesus said in the Beatitudes that we should not worry because our Heavenly Father WILL PROVIDE FOR US.
Maybe we need to learn to let go of EVERYTHING and stop trying to define our lives. After all, if we gave our lives to God, and God has a destiny for us, won't He guide us to our place?
Maybe I just need to see where life- and by life, I mean my predestined life, ergo God- takes me instead of worrying about what my career will be. Maybe, if we stick to our own plans, we are building our own walls to keep us from getting to our place, so to speak.
So the next time something happens- a car accident, the house has to be fixed, a new medicine has to be bought- STOP THINKING IN TERMS OF COST. It's a necessity, so there's no point in being upset about it. You can't control it. It's out of your hands. Why worry about it? God will provide, always.
People- my friends, my family, everyone- matter to me, yes. In fact, almost everyone in my life matters more to me than they actually know. But if my laptop suddenly shut down and went completely dead, it's no big deal. If my iPod was stolen, it's no big deal. If my dog, whom I absolutely adore and love, was hit by a car...as sad as that is, it's nothing to get in the way of the pursuit of God. We have to learn to be willing to lose everything in order to gain the only thing we need.
It's not bad to have possessions, and it's not bad to like things. But you also have to be able to detach from them. They can't stop your life from moving.
To quote Switchfoot, 'We were meant to live for so much more!'
Maybe I'm a hypocrite. Maybe tomorrow, our house will burn down and I will have lost everything and I'll cry about it for days- maybe weeks. It's always easier to preach about something that hasn't happened yet, haha.
The only way we can find our niche- find satisfaction- is by giving up everything. Not in just the physical sense, but by learning to detach from earthly things knowing that we have been given something FAR GREATER: eternal life in Christ when this world ends.
We know we're in the right place when we are freed from the need to control things, in my opinion. By giving up control and accepting that things will happen, we will gain satisfaction.
Not happiness necessarily, but satisfaction- knowing we are in the RIGHT PLACE.
So tuck in your cloaks people, and be prepared. We've got to be ready for when God calls on us.
I'll wrap it up with one of my favorite quotes:
"It's a dangerous business, Frodo. Stepping out your front door. You step out into the world, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no telling where you'll be swept off to."
Be ready. Who knows, tomorrow you might be called to hop on a plane to Madagascar.
I'm not talking about fitting in or anything. I'm talking about finding and then leading the kind of life that satisfies.
Unfortunately, nothing on this huge, blue marble will ever satisfy. Ever. It may provide some slight satisfaction, but it does not provide ultimate satisfaction.
Again, I have to make a distinction: happiness and satisfaction.
What I'm talking about when I say satisfaction is just knowing that you are in the right place. If you know you are on the right path and are where you are supposed to be, it doesn't matter what kind of hardship or storms come- even if you are unhappy, you know you are in your place.
Your niche.
Your 'home', so to speak.
As I enter my final years of High School, people continually ask me where I want to go to college and what I want to major/minor in. Every time, I have to give a rather noncommital answer because, at this junction, I'm not sure where to go.
And they always respond the same way. "...Well, I'm sure you'll figure something out."
Which translates to, "This kid has no goals? No dreams? No motivation? He's in trouble."
It's not that I don't have dreams and things I aspire to. It's not that I don't have things I would like to accomplish before I die. I've got my 'Bucket List' so to speak.
People always expect you to choose a career path and then let your career define the rest of your lifestyle.
For instance, I had a Bible teacher who was also a musician. I knew another teacher who was write novels outside of his job.
When people hear that someone has a multi-faceted life, it tends to amaze them.
So when people take the time to genuinely listen to me about what I might want to do, they always use that response. "...Well, I'm sure you'll figure something out."
Mainly because all my ideas on what I wish to do with my life conflict with each other. Majorly.
How does one combine a comic book artist, a teacher, a pastor, a writer, a screenwriter and director, a musician, a veterinarian, an artist/photographer, a zoologist, and a psychologist/psychological profiler?
I've been thinking a lot about this lately.
It always seems to come down to two lists:
'What I Want' OR 'What God Wants For Me'
They tend to be really different.
Here's how you start:
1) Get a piece of paper.
2) Write down every possible career option you are interested in and leave some space between each one.
3) When you've done that, write a brief sentence explaining how this could be beneficial/helpful/enjoyable/whatever.
4) Read over your list.
5) This is the important one: Crumple up that list and throw it in the trash.
Exercise in futility, huh?
God has a plan for everyone. A predestination. It's all mapped out. However, as humans, we DO have a free will.
So maybe, instead of trying to lay out our life plans, we just need to start preparing. Training. Getting ready.
Be knowledgeable. Understand the world and the realities around us, and learn to live truly as an awakened Christian in society. Wake up and be ready.
Jesus uses the metaphor for the Second Coming of a 'thief in the night'. He tells us to be ready, because we don't know the day or the hour.
In Exodus, during the first Passover with Moses and the Israelites, they ate with their cloaks tucked into their belts. They made food that could be easily transported and didn't need to be carefully attended- unleavened bread. They stayed in huge groups sharing this meal, WAITING.
It was like a runner at his mark, waiting for the shot. Every fiber of his being is focused intently on his goal- mind, body, soul. Their cloaks were tucked in. They were ready to move. Ready to pack up and go.
Remember in Matthew 19, when the man comes to talk to Jesus about how to get eternal life? Jesus tells him to sell all his earthly possessions and follow Him. The man doesn't do it.
How about in Matthew 8:18-22? A guy comes up to Jesus and says, "I will follow you, just let me bury my dad." Jesus says (direct quote here):" Let the dead bury their own dead."
When I first heard that story, I thought Jesus was being kind of harsh. I mean, the guy just wants to bury his dad. What's so wrong about that? But sacrifice- REAL sacrifice- is the name of the game here, guys.
It all comes down to:
How much are you willing to give up?
In the Bible, when we are called to give up our lives for Christ, it isn't always a metaphor. There are real sacrifices that have to be made, but they shouldn't matter to you in comparison to Christ.
America is a culture steeped in greed and possessions.
You are defined by what you own.
Your nice house. Your nice car. Your taste in furniture. Your taste in music. What you can afford to eat. Money. Money. Money. Things. Things. Things.
I recently saw the movie 'Up In The Air' (George Clooney, 2010). In it, Clooney plays a man who spends 95% of his life on board planes and away from his apartment. He works for a company that hires out workers to other companies to fire people. He gets paid to fire people for other companies.
He has his life down to a science. He takes only what he needs, and discards all the rest- ESPECIALLY anything that might 'burden' him with a personal connection.
In multiple scenes, we watch him pack his small, black, rolling suitcase with what can only be defined as skill. Everything has its place. Take only necessities.
In one of the scenes of the movie, he is giving a lecture to other people like him, trying to explain how to cope with this kind of life. He tells everyone to imagine a backpack?
Got it yet? Once you have it envisioned, we move on.
He says to put EVERYTHING you own in it. This backpack is like one of those bottomless backpacks that can hold everything in old Loony Tunes cartoons. The backpack just gets bigger and bigger, but it never breaks!
He tells them to put EVERYTHING in there. House. Couch. iPod. Photos. Desk. Phone. Coffee table you bought. Computer. All of it.
Then, he jokes with them, telling them to try to walk. It's impossible.
Now he continues in his metaphor to include people and relationships- put them inside the bag too. That's where he and I are going to diverge for now.
So, you, a Christian on planet Earth, have all these things in your backpack. Only your material possessions. Not your relationships, none of that. Just what you OWN. Think of how much stuff that is.
Try tucking in your cloaks and running with all that.
Let's reconnect with the movie:
At the end of the scene, he tells his audience they need to burn their backpacks. Get rid of everything holding you back.
For the Christian- particularly an American Christian, I think- this holds great applicability. I'm not talking about the 'burn-your-connections-to-people-part'.
I'm ONLY talking about the 'burn-your-connections-to-possessions'.
(Let me clarify quickly: DO NOT go light anything on fire, please.)
My family worries about money a lot, which is something I've never really worried about that much. It's just money, it's just stuff. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter.
How many of you/your parents freak out when there's a car accident? How many of you/your parents would freak out if someone broke into your house and stole EVERYTHING YOU OWN?
If I were standing at the front of a classroom right now, I imagine I'd see lots of hands up.
Let's take a pause for a second to connect some dots, since I know this is a long one:
1) I started talking about finding your 'place' in the world.
2) Suddenly, I switched to talking about possessions and greed and money.
So, you're looking for your place and trying to define yourself. You define yourself with what you own and your appearance.
How many of us, if our houses burned down, would just shrug and say: 'Stuff happens.'
Maybe that's what we all need to learn to do!
Our over-attachment to material things is lulling us into a sleep so deep we have begun to lose connection with the single most important thing in our world: God Himself. We are practically comatose.
When Jesus sends out The Twelve in Matthew 10:9-10, he says:
"Do not take along any gold or silver or copper in your belts; take no bag for the journey, or extra tunic, or sandals or staff; for the worker is worth his keep."
Jesus said in the Beatitudes that we should not worry because our Heavenly Father WILL PROVIDE FOR US.
Maybe we need to learn to let go of EVERYTHING and stop trying to define our lives. After all, if we gave our lives to God, and God has a destiny for us, won't He guide us to our place?
Maybe I just need to see where life- and by life, I mean my predestined life, ergo God- takes me instead of worrying about what my career will be. Maybe, if we stick to our own plans, we are building our own walls to keep us from getting to our place, so to speak.
So the next time something happens- a car accident, the house has to be fixed, a new medicine has to be bought- STOP THINKING IN TERMS OF COST. It's a necessity, so there's no point in being upset about it. You can't control it. It's out of your hands. Why worry about it? God will provide, always.
People- my friends, my family, everyone- matter to me, yes. In fact, almost everyone in my life matters more to me than they actually know. But if my laptop suddenly shut down and went completely dead, it's no big deal. If my iPod was stolen, it's no big deal. If my dog, whom I absolutely adore and love, was hit by a car...as sad as that is, it's nothing to get in the way of the pursuit of God. We have to learn to be willing to lose everything in order to gain the only thing we need.
It's not bad to have possessions, and it's not bad to like things. But you also have to be able to detach from them. They can't stop your life from moving.
To quote Switchfoot, 'We were meant to live for so much more!'
Maybe I'm a hypocrite. Maybe tomorrow, our house will burn down and I will have lost everything and I'll cry about it for days- maybe weeks. It's always easier to preach about something that hasn't happened yet, haha.
The only way we can find our niche- find satisfaction- is by giving up everything. Not in just the physical sense, but by learning to detach from earthly things knowing that we have been given something FAR GREATER: eternal life in Christ when this world ends.
We know we're in the right place when we are freed from the need to control things, in my opinion. By giving up control and accepting that things will happen, we will gain satisfaction.
Not happiness necessarily, but satisfaction- knowing we are in the RIGHT PLACE.
So tuck in your cloaks people, and be prepared. We've got to be ready for when God calls on us.
I'll wrap it up with one of my favorite quotes:
"It's a dangerous business, Frodo. Stepping out your front door. You step out into the world, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no telling where you'll be swept off to."
Be ready. Who knows, tomorrow you might be called to hop on a plane to Madagascar.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Teenagers
Teens today are under more pressure than ever.
Yeah, it's a cliched statement and one that is used every generation, but it's true. Teenagers today have to deal with much more than what they used to.
I guess this entry is kind of coming as a result of the 'finally-done-with-finals'feeling.
See, I can't tell you how many times my parents have been amazed at how much homework I have to do for classes in one night. And I'm in the dumb classes. I'm not someone who is in all AP courses, so the work load isn't from there.
Let's break down this education crisis:
America's schools are ranking pretty low these days, especially in high school graduations. Because America is being compared to countries like Japan an regularly being told they aren't making the cut, the American education system has made a dramatic leap forward in an attempt to 'catch up'. Their solution, essentially, has been 'work harder, faster, producing better results'. It's a flame burning so hot it can't sustain itself.
As American education boards are pressured into returning America to its 'rightful' status on the education totem pole, a chain reaction occurs.
1. The officials in the government see the 'score board' with other countries.
2. They frantically try to develop all kinds of programs to 'increase productivity'.
3. These programs are formed into laws/regulations for the state.
4. Once these laws/regulations are passed, the head of the school board starts to sweat
5. Mr. Head-of-School-Board stresses out, urging teachers to alter curriculum.
6. Teachers, worried about being good educators, attempt to make alterations.
7. This results in dramatic increases in work for the students.
8. And the students grades start to slip as they can't keep up with the 'demand'.
9. The parents see the falling grades, and having inherited the stress from up top...
10. They begin to pressure kids. Urging them, pushing them too hard.
11. Kids begin to have break downs.
As parents begin to lay on the pressure (which, admittedly, comes from a decent place- a desire for their child to succeed), something changes.
Want becomes need. The relationship breaks down. Teenage rebellion begins, and the cycle continues. It's a vicious two-edged sword.
The other day, one of the first days after school had ended, my mom asked me to go with her to go run some errands. Seeing as they were simple errands like mailing letters, I saw no need and got exasperated. I'd been dealing all year with people NEEDING things from me. As my parents got more stressed during the tight economy, I began to feel somewhat neglected and used only as 'free labor' in the house.
Anyway, I had had a frustrating day (how selfish does that sound?)when she asked this, and I complained and complained. And complained. And I told her I really didn't want to. And I practically started a fight over it.
Finally, I snapped, 'What do you need ME for?!'
My mom looked really upset for a second and just said, 'I wanted to spend some time with you is all.'
I felt like the worst person in the world. See, I had gotten so used to people NEEDING things from me, EXPECTING things from me, that I had just gotten to the point where I only saw people as what they expected of me.
After all the pressure that I had been under lately to do well in school, finish up work, prepare for my sister returning home, and helping around the house, it was just too much. I mean, it was like my head was going to explode. There was just too much to deal with.
So, when I realized that I wasn't needed, but WANTED, it caught me off guard.
Being 'wanted' and 'needed' are two VERY different things.
'Need' seems to imply a selfishness. Even on TV in those goofy, overly-dramatic romance shows, when a person said 'I need you' it was all about them, not you. But being told you are wanted and accepted where you are is something vastly separate.
My generation has gotten to the point where we only feel 'needed', not wanted. This is no one's fault intentionally. It is the atmosphere that has been created. We only feel that we are 'required' to meet certain expectations.
If someone asked you, right now, 'what do your parents want you to do?', you could come up with a million answers.
- Get good grades.
- Help out at home.
- Manage time effectively 100% of the time.
- Etc.
And that's just because of what atmosphere has been cultivated in America. As children get older, there's something that happens where we begin to feel like our parents see us as nothing more than hindrances and inconveniences. We try to sort of stay out of the way, lay low.
It's all this pressure that is breaking up families and ruining relationships between parents and children.
But here's the worst part: it doesn't end there. As our parents pressure us and we begin to feel like we just have to meet every expectation, we begin to feel UNWANTED. Not in the abandoned sort of way, but in a pervasive feeling that encourages us to 'lay low and not be a bother'.
And as teens let that attitude sink in, something else sinks in.
Teens begin to feel unimportant and insignificant. This feeling encourages acting out. We begin to feel like nothing we do matters.
And THAT is how you get the apathetic teenager of today.
At one point in Ethics during the year, one of the kids in my class said something along the lines of (and I paraphrase here):
"I mean, come on guys, what are the chances anyone here is going to actually do something that matters?"
When I heard that, that just killed me. It wasn't laziness or anything on our part that had made us feel this way. It was what the world had beaten into us.
I like John Mayer a lot. I think he's a terrific artist, mainly because he can play guitar insanely well. But a lot of times, I don't agree with his messages in his songs.
How about 'Waiting On The World To Change'?
Me and all my friends
We're all misunderstood.
They say we stand for nothin' and
There's no way we ever could.
Now we see everything that's goin' wrong
With the world and those who lead it.
We just feel like we don't have the means
To rise above and beat it.
So we keep waiting.
Waiting on the world to change.
It's not that we don't care
We just know that the fight ain't fair.
So we keep waiting.
Waiting on the world to change.
John Mayer hits the nail on the head, and I think he does it unintentionally. This is how teenagers have come to feel, evidenced by what my class mate said.
Multiple times this week on Facebook, I've seen posts from upset friends about how their families are telling them they aren't 'doing it right' or 'doing it well enough'. Their parents are unintentionally telling them they are worthless failures, because they are not succeeding in what they 'need' to do.
This is leading to a generation of apathetic, self-loathing Christian teens. If teens can't understand how a relationship with a parent is supposed to work, how can they even begin to understand the love in their relationship with the Father himself?
No parent actually wants to upset or pressure their child. Parents just want what is best. But as American culture tries to stay 'the best' at everything, this pressure is going to lead to the self-destructive behavior we see today, the rebellion.
Joss Whedon unintentionally blasts a hole in Atheistic world views in one of the lines from his show Angel. Angel, after having dealt with what was essentially an existential crisis, says:
"I guess I finally just realized that nothing we do matters."
"Well, don't you have a cheery outlook on life?"
"Let me finish. I guess, what I'm trying to say is...if there is no higher power, no higher calling...no grand plan...If nothing we do matters, then the only thing that matters is what we do. The smallest act of kindness can have such an impact on someone's life."
Back to the quote from my classmate.
So, if none of us will ever accomplish anything in actuality, then the only things that matter about our lives are what we do.
I am in no way implying my friend was coming from an Athiestic view. In fact, I have no doubt in my mind she is a Christian. But the world has done such a thorough job through this 'pressure method' at teaching us we don't matter.
I wanted to talk to her later on. I've always been a big believer that everyone God has chosen has a big destiny. Not big in the sense that we understand big, but big.
The metaphor for actions is usually the cliche one about dropping a stone into a pond.
I think, that since everything is predestined (obviously, I'm a Calvinist, haha), it's like dumping one of those massive, plastic jugs filled with spare change into a pond. Billions of individual coins striking the water and sending out waves in circular patterns. Since the coins will mostly hit the water at the same time, the ripples begin to collide, forming new waves that spread farther.
All from one coin.
If you don't get the metaphor...Fine, I guess I'll go into it. The pond is the physical, fallen world. Each coin is a person. When that person enters the world and begins making choices or doing ANYTHING, it affects other people and their actions.
My point is: Everyone affects everyone.
The Apostle Paul talked about the body of Christ being made up of many parts, none more valuable than the others. It's SO true. That's how actions work in this world. And that's what makes life life.
The pressure, the strain that teenagers feel (remember that from WAY earlier in the entry?) is transmitted in the exact same way. And very quickly, we forget we are 'wanted' and loved and begin to feel only 'needed'.
"I just wanted to spend some time with you." See? We're all people, and we all want to be wanted. We don't want to only be needed, though there is a place for that. That's the crazy confusing thing about God. That's why he's called the Father. He doesn't NEED us, he WANTS us. He wants what is best for us, like a parent, so He gave us the Bible. But he pursues us! We don't pursue him.
All about that imagery of the church being God's bride, that he is courting and 'wooing' her.
Teenagers are an amazingly powerful force, which is why I think Satan tries to separate us from our parents. Our passion and drive, when not being beaten away by the pressures of society, make us a deadly weapon. If parents and teens could get rid of this pressure, this feeling of expectations, it would be incredible how the world would change. I'm not saying abolish the Fifth Commandment at all.
What I'm saying, I guess, is keep the respect and the real responsibility and get rid of all this cultural junk that is separating you from your parents.
It would be a WASD entry without a superhero reference, so here we go: Parents and teens are like the Wonder Twins. Now, I've never really liked the Wonder Twins, but that's not the point. Separate, they do much more harm than good. Together, they are a powerful, unionized force that is capable of bringing great change.
Hey, teenagers got the '70s goin'. Just think of what would happen if teenagers and adults worked together?
God bless.
PS- I really hope that made sense in some form or another. It's late and I'm tired.
Yeah, it's a cliched statement and one that is used every generation, but it's true. Teenagers today have to deal with much more than what they used to.
I guess this entry is kind of coming as a result of the 'finally-done-with-finals'feeling.
See, I can't tell you how many times my parents have been amazed at how much homework I have to do for classes in one night. And I'm in the dumb classes. I'm not someone who is in all AP courses, so the work load isn't from there.
Let's break down this education crisis:
America's schools are ranking pretty low these days, especially in high school graduations. Because America is being compared to countries like Japan an regularly being told they aren't making the cut, the American education system has made a dramatic leap forward in an attempt to 'catch up'. Their solution, essentially, has been 'work harder, faster, producing better results'. It's a flame burning so hot it can't sustain itself.
As American education boards are pressured into returning America to its 'rightful' status on the education totem pole, a chain reaction occurs.
1. The officials in the government see the 'score board' with other countries.
2. They frantically try to develop all kinds of programs to 'increase productivity'.
3. These programs are formed into laws/regulations for the state.
4. Once these laws/regulations are passed, the head of the school board starts to sweat
5. Mr. Head-of-School-Board stresses out, urging teachers to alter curriculum.
6. Teachers, worried about being good educators, attempt to make alterations.
7. This results in dramatic increases in work for the students.
8. And the students grades start to slip as they can't keep up with the 'demand'.
9. The parents see the falling grades, and having inherited the stress from up top...
10. They begin to pressure kids. Urging them, pushing them too hard.
11. Kids begin to have break downs.
As parents begin to lay on the pressure (which, admittedly, comes from a decent place- a desire for their child to succeed), something changes.
Want becomes need. The relationship breaks down. Teenage rebellion begins, and the cycle continues. It's a vicious two-edged sword.
The other day, one of the first days after school had ended, my mom asked me to go with her to go run some errands. Seeing as they were simple errands like mailing letters, I saw no need and got exasperated. I'd been dealing all year with people NEEDING things from me. As my parents got more stressed during the tight economy, I began to feel somewhat neglected and used only as 'free labor' in the house.
Anyway, I had had a frustrating day (how selfish does that sound?)when she asked this, and I complained and complained. And complained. And I told her I really didn't want to. And I practically started a fight over it.
Finally, I snapped, 'What do you need ME for?!'
My mom looked really upset for a second and just said, 'I wanted to spend some time with you is all.'
I felt like the worst person in the world. See, I had gotten so used to people NEEDING things from me, EXPECTING things from me, that I had just gotten to the point where I only saw people as what they expected of me.
After all the pressure that I had been under lately to do well in school, finish up work, prepare for my sister returning home, and helping around the house, it was just too much. I mean, it was like my head was going to explode. There was just too much to deal with.
So, when I realized that I wasn't needed, but WANTED, it caught me off guard.
Being 'wanted' and 'needed' are two VERY different things.
'Need' seems to imply a selfishness. Even on TV in those goofy, overly-dramatic romance shows, when a person said 'I need you' it was all about them, not you. But being told you are wanted and accepted where you are is something vastly separate.
My generation has gotten to the point where we only feel 'needed', not wanted. This is no one's fault intentionally. It is the atmosphere that has been created. We only feel that we are 'required' to meet certain expectations.
If someone asked you, right now, 'what do your parents want you to do?', you could come up with a million answers.
- Get good grades.
- Help out at home.
- Manage time effectively 100% of the time.
- Etc.
And that's just because of what atmosphere has been cultivated in America. As children get older, there's something that happens where we begin to feel like our parents see us as nothing more than hindrances and inconveniences. We try to sort of stay out of the way, lay low.
It's all this pressure that is breaking up families and ruining relationships between parents and children.
But here's the worst part: it doesn't end there. As our parents pressure us and we begin to feel like we just have to meet every expectation, we begin to feel UNWANTED. Not in the abandoned sort of way, but in a pervasive feeling that encourages us to 'lay low and not be a bother'.
And as teens let that attitude sink in, something else sinks in.
Teens begin to feel unimportant and insignificant. This feeling encourages acting out. We begin to feel like nothing we do matters.
And THAT is how you get the apathetic teenager of today.
At one point in Ethics during the year, one of the kids in my class said something along the lines of (and I paraphrase here):
"I mean, come on guys, what are the chances anyone here is going to actually do something that matters?"
When I heard that, that just killed me. It wasn't laziness or anything on our part that had made us feel this way. It was what the world had beaten into us.
I like John Mayer a lot. I think he's a terrific artist, mainly because he can play guitar insanely well. But a lot of times, I don't agree with his messages in his songs.
How about 'Waiting On The World To Change'?
Me and all my friends
We're all misunderstood.
They say we stand for nothin' and
There's no way we ever could.
Now we see everything that's goin' wrong
With the world and those who lead it.
We just feel like we don't have the means
To rise above and beat it.
So we keep waiting.
Waiting on the world to change.
It's not that we don't care
We just know that the fight ain't fair.
So we keep waiting.
Waiting on the world to change.
John Mayer hits the nail on the head, and I think he does it unintentionally. This is how teenagers have come to feel, evidenced by what my class mate said.
Multiple times this week on Facebook, I've seen posts from upset friends about how their families are telling them they aren't 'doing it right' or 'doing it well enough'. Their parents are unintentionally telling them they are worthless failures, because they are not succeeding in what they 'need' to do.
This is leading to a generation of apathetic, self-loathing Christian teens. If teens can't understand how a relationship with a parent is supposed to work, how can they even begin to understand the love in their relationship with the Father himself?
No parent actually wants to upset or pressure their child. Parents just want what is best. But as American culture tries to stay 'the best' at everything, this pressure is going to lead to the self-destructive behavior we see today, the rebellion.
Joss Whedon unintentionally blasts a hole in Atheistic world views in one of the lines from his show Angel. Angel, after having dealt with what was essentially an existential crisis, says:
"I guess I finally just realized that nothing we do matters."
"Well, don't you have a cheery outlook on life?"
"Let me finish. I guess, what I'm trying to say is...if there is no higher power, no higher calling...no grand plan...If nothing we do matters, then the only thing that matters is what we do. The smallest act of kindness can have such an impact on someone's life."
Back to the quote from my classmate.
So, if none of us will ever accomplish anything in actuality, then the only things that matter about our lives are what we do.
I am in no way implying my friend was coming from an Athiestic view. In fact, I have no doubt in my mind she is a Christian. But the world has done such a thorough job through this 'pressure method' at teaching us we don't matter.
I wanted to talk to her later on. I've always been a big believer that everyone God has chosen has a big destiny. Not big in the sense that we understand big, but big.
The metaphor for actions is usually the cliche one about dropping a stone into a pond.
I think, that since everything is predestined (obviously, I'm a Calvinist, haha), it's like dumping one of those massive, plastic jugs filled with spare change into a pond. Billions of individual coins striking the water and sending out waves in circular patterns. Since the coins will mostly hit the water at the same time, the ripples begin to collide, forming new waves that spread farther.
All from one coin.
If you don't get the metaphor...Fine, I guess I'll go into it. The pond is the physical, fallen world. Each coin is a person. When that person enters the world and begins making choices or doing ANYTHING, it affects other people and their actions.
My point is: Everyone affects everyone.
The Apostle Paul talked about the body of Christ being made up of many parts, none more valuable than the others. It's SO true. That's how actions work in this world. And that's what makes life life.
The pressure, the strain that teenagers feel (remember that from WAY earlier in the entry?) is transmitted in the exact same way. And very quickly, we forget we are 'wanted' and loved and begin to feel only 'needed'.
"I just wanted to spend some time with you." See? We're all people, and we all want to be wanted. We don't want to only be needed, though there is a place for that. That's the crazy confusing thing about God. That's why he's called the Father. He doesn't NEED us, he WANTS us. He wants what is best for us, like a parent, so He gave us the Bible. But he pursues us! We don't pursue him.
All about that imagery of the church being God's bride, that he is courting and 'wooing' her.
Teenagers are an amazingly powerful force, which is why I think Satan tries to separate us from our parents. Our passion and drive, when not being beaten away by the pressures of society, make us a deadly weapon. If parents and teens could get rid of this pressure, this feeling of expectations, it would be incredible how the world would change. I'm not saying abolish the Fifth Commandment at all.
What I'm saying, I guess, is keep the respect and the real responsibility and get rid of all this cultural junk that is separating you from your parents.
It would be a WASD entry without a superhero reference, so here we go: Parents and teens are like the Wonder Twins. Now, I've never really liked the Wonder Twins, but that's not the point. Separate, they do much more harm than good. Together, they are a powerful, unionized force that is capable of bringing great change.
Hey, teenagers got the '70s goin'. Just think of what would happen if teenagers and adults worked together?
God bless.
PS- I really hope that made sense in some form or another. It's late and I'm tired.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Monster!
*If I were a monster, would you wince when you looked at me? If I were a freak, would you stare? If I were leper, would you say, 'Unclean!'? And if I was lost, would you help me get free?* -Monster, The Almost
"I've always felt like there was this darkness inside of me just fighting to get out."- Davis Bloome, Smallville
I had a dream once that really freaked me out. It was through my eyes, but I was watching it like I was on the outside as well. It was this dream where, I guess, I was evil. One of the worst nightmares I've ever had. I don't like to think about it much, but I make myself every once in a while.
Anyway, the worst part about the dream was that it followed the typical routine of my day. So, I watched 'me' go through a school day/weekend without any conscience. Then, when I went BACK to sleep, I had a dream of a 30 year old me being hunted by the FBI. Definitely not a restful night of sleep. It felt so logical, so... realistic.
Very realistic. It didn't have that quality of bizarre-ness that usually accompanies dreaming. It all seemed very possible.
When I woke up, I thought about it a lot. I asked myself, 'What would I do if I could get away with it? What if I didn't care about God or any form of morals? What would it be like to go through a day without any inhibition, following only my own selfish whims?'
I realized that if there were no repercussions, I would have done almost everything in my dream.
And that scared the hell out of me.
When I say 'no repercussions', I don't just mean not caring about following the Bible. Because we all have an inherent system of Ethics imbued in our souls. Let me explain.
God created the world, right?
And when He created it, He made it perfect. Without sin. Meaning we started as perfect.
So, since we are made in God's image, we are imbued with an inherent sense of right-and-wrong that we feel even when we are very young. We get mad when someone breaks the rules, because that's wrong. We don't know WHY we get mad, but we do.
So, humans started as pure and good, but sin has contaminated so thoroughly this physical realm that we are born sinful AND born into sin.
So, here's my point:
Sin is alien. Sin is foreign. It shouldn't be.
Imagine two beakers. One is full of water. The other is full of a chemical. Now, imagine pouring the beaker of chemicals into the glass of water. Watch as the chemicals react negatively with the water, and the water is overtaken and transformed into something dangerous and wrong. It becomes an entirely new substance, no longer water at all. It USED to be water, but it's not now.
The chemical disperses so thoroughly within the water that it mixes completely. The new liquid in the glass isn't water or chemical. It's NOT a hybrid. It's something new that has been created by the introduction of something foreign. Like oil and water.
In this metaphor, water is our essence. The chemical is sin.
Our sin transforms us into something ugly. Something WRONG. We are NOT what we are supposed to be.
I don't think it's a stretch to say we will be almost entirely different when all things are made new. Because our sin, this constant tug-of-war between what remains of our perfect nature and the sin nature that contaminates dictates our personalities in this world.
The band RED very accurately hits this idea on the head with their song 'Fight Inside'.
*Enemy, familiar friend.
My beginning and my end.
Knowing truth.
Whispering lies.
And it hurts again.
What I feel.
What I try.
Words I say.
Words I hide.
All the pain, I want it to end.
But I want it again.
And it finds me.
The fight inside is raging in me again.*
They also accurately portray this idea in their song 'Death of Me', in which they sing about Christians being their own worst enemies. Check out the music video:
Joss Whedon, in his show Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, created the most metaphorical version of vampires for his story. In Buffy, a vampire is a demon that takes the place of the human soul within a person, effectively destroying that soul. Sinful essence in a body representing normalcy.
To be even more metaphorical, Joss created the character Angel- a vampire who has had his soul restored to him. He is tormented by guilt and desperately trying to atone for his actions when he was controlled by the demon. Now, Angel is just a good guy with unfortunate dietary constraints and a non-beating heart.
The points is, we all have incredible potential for evil and incredible potential for good.
So what is it that holds us back from acting on every sinful whim?
It's that little voice inside our heads, right?
That voice is what remains of our original perfect nature crying out to us. The voice is trying to explain that things are not right.
But that voice can't defeat sin if all we do is act on it.
See, we need to accept Christ. Accepting Christ equips us with the weapons to fight back against this sin nature. If we try to do the right thing and do not seek Christ or follow His methods, we will fall to our sinful nature. That's how the world works.
Fortunately, Christ doesn't just give us the tools to do so after we accept Him. He jumps in and fights the battle for us, protecting us while simultaneously battling the darkness within our own souls.
Skillet, with their album 'Awake', accurately portrays these two aspects of spiritual conflict with the first two songs on their album. The second song on the album should be listened to first. It's the song 'Monster'. Then, go back to the first song and listen to the song 'Hero'.
Obviously, this is a popular theme with Christian musicians.
Ted Dekker is one of my favorite authors, and this is one of his 'short stories' of sorts he posted on his blog I found particularly relevant:
"I always wondered why babies cry when I walk by, and now I know. I am a beast.
You ask me how I know. You see, I was walking through a beautiful forest on a Sunday afternoon stroll when a horrible snort sounded in the bushes to my right. I whirled and came face to face with an enormous hairy boar with two red eyes and long bloodied tusks.
I couldn’t move. But when the boar charged I managed to uproot my feet and run. Through the brush, over rocks, leaping ditches—I don’t remember because panic had shut down my mind.
Blind with that terror, I ran straight into a small canyon and pulled up hard at the base of a cliff. I could hear the beast’s snorting behind and I knew that my back would be pierced by those tusks. When I spun to face it, the boar slid to a glaring stop, a ferocious sight that turned me to ice.
It grunted once and charged, and I lost my mind to fear. I screamed bloody murder and threw myself directly for it, perhaps with a desperate hope it would turn and flee.
It did not flee. It took me head on.
But instead of smashing into those bloodied tusks, I crashed into mirrored glass that shattered and fell to the ground. I stood panting. The boar was gone. The only blood was on my forearms, where the mirror had cut me.
So you see, that is how I know that I am a beast."
---Ted Dekker, 'The Boar'
We all have potential for evil. Each and every one of us could have been Adolf Hitler or Joseph Stalin. We see murderers, thieves, and rapists on TV and seperate ourselves from them. We say, 'They are worse than us. Below us.'
We all could be that person. For those of us who aren't, it's by the amazing grace of God.
No murderer is born a murderer, and no rapist is born a rapist. They are born just like you and me. But something in their life happened that pushed their conscience away entirely. Under different circumstances, that could have been anyone. It's like some kind of sick, twisted equation:
Broken world + sin nature of humans x circumstance= result.
We've all got this monster inside of us. Christians are no exception. That's the tricky thing about free will- it provides both the potential for amazing good or great evil. Yet God gave it to us anyway.
This is why God is incredible- because His love is UNCONDITIONAL. He loves all He has created, no matter what. God only hates sins- he does not hate sinners. God doesn't hate gays- he hates the sin of homosexuality that these people struggle with. God doesn't hate 'whores'- he hates the insecurity and fear that leads a girl to such actions.
People are not their sin. There are no 'gays'. There are people who struggle with homosexuality. There are no 'whores'. There are people who struggle with self-esteem. Their are no 'emos'. There are people who suffer with depression and self-loathing.
The call of the Christian- and consequently, one of the biggest challenges- is to look at people and see beyond their sin. Hate their actions, not them.
I'm not entirely sure what I'm trying to say here, but I have one last quote that will wrap it up:
"Pity? It is a pity the ring ever came to him (Gollum) at all. Gollum loves and hates the ring, as he loves and hates himself. Do not be too quick to offer up death in judgment, Frodo."- Gandalf
God bless.
"I've always felt like there was this darkness inside of me just fighting to get out."- Davis Bloome, Smallville
I had a dream once that really freaked me out. It was through my eyes, but I was watching it like I was on the outside as well. It was this dream where, I guess, I was evil. One of the worst nightmares I've ever had. I don't like to think about it much, but I make myself every once in a while.
Anyway, the worst part about the dream was that it followed the typical routine of my day. So, I watched 'me' go through a school day/weekend without any conscience. Then, when I went BACK to sleep, I had a dream of a 30 year old me being hunted by the FBI. Definitely not a restful night of sleep. It felt so logical, so... realistic.
Very realistic. It didn't have that quality of bizarre-ness that usually accompanies dreaming. It all seemed very possible.
When I woke up, I thought about it a lot. I asked myself, 'What would I do if I could get away with it? What if I didn't care about God or any form of morals? What would it be like to go through a day without any inhibition, following only my own selfish whims?'
I realized that if there were no repercussions, I would have done almost everything in my dream.
And that scared the hell out of me.
When I say 'no repercussions', I don't just mean not caring about following the Bible. Because we all have an inherent system of Ethics imbued in our souls. Let me explain.
God created the world, right?
And when He created it, He made it perfect. Without sin. Meaning we started as perfect.
So, since we are made in God's image, we are imbued with an inherent sense of right-and-wrong that we feel even when we are very young. We get mad when someone breaks the rules, because that's wrong. We don't know WHY we get mad, but we do.
So, humans started as pure and good, but sin has contaminated so thoroughly this physical realm that we are born sinful AND born into sin.
So, here's my point:
Sin is alien. Sin is foreign. It shouldn't be.
Imagine two beakers. One is full of water. The other is full of a chemical. Now, imagine pouring the beaker of chemicals into the glass of water. Watch as the chemicals react negatively with the water, and the water is overtaken and transformed into something dangerous and wrong. It becomes an entirely new substance, no longer water at all. It USED to be water, but it's not now.
The chemical disperses so thoroughly within the water that it mixes completely. The new liquid in the glass isn't water or chemical. It's NOT a hybrid. It's something new that has been created by the introduction of something foreign. Like oil and water.
In this metaphor, water is our essence. The chemical is sin.
Our sin transforms us into something ugly. Something WRONG. We are NOT what we are supposed to be.
I don't think it's a stretch to say we will be almost entirely different when all things are made new. Because our sin, this constant tug-of-war between what remains of our perfect nature and the sin nature that contaminates dictates our personalities in this world.
The band RED very accurately hits this idea on the head with their song 'Fight Inside'.
*Enemy, familiar friend.
My beginning and my end.
Knowing truth.
Whispering lies.
And it hurts again.
What I feel.
What I try.
Words I say.
Words I hide.
All the pain, I want it to end.
But I want it again.
And it finds me.
The fight inside is raging in me again.*
They also accurately portray this idea in their song 'Death of Me', in which they sing about Christians being their own worst enemies. Check out the music video:
Joss Whedon, in his show Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, created the most metaphorical version of vampires for his story. In Buffy, a vampire is a demon that takes the place of the human soul within a person, effectively destroying that soul. Sinful essence in a body representing normalcy.
To be even more metaphorical, Joss created the character Angel- a vampire who has had his soul restored to him. He is tormented by guilt and desperately trying to atone for his actions when he was controlled by the demon. Now, Angel is just a good guy with unfortunate dietary constraints and a non-beating heart.
The points is, we all have incredible potential for evil and incredible potential for good.
So what is it that holds us back from acting on every sinful whim?
It's that little voice inside our heads, right?
That voice is what remains of our original perfect nature crying out to us. The voice is trying to explain that things are not right.
But that voice can't defeat sin if all we do is act on it.
See, we need to accept Christ. Accepting Christ equips us with the weapons to fight back against this sin nature. If we try to do the right thing and do not seek Christ or follow His methods, we will fall to our sinful nature. That's how the world works.
Fortunately, Christ doesn't just give us the tools to do so after we accept Him. He jumps in and fights the battle for us, protecting us while simultaneously battling the darkness within our own souls.
Skillet, with their album 'Awake', accurately portrays these two aspects of spiritual conflict with the first two songs on their album. The second song on the album should be listened to first. It's the song 'Monster'. Then, go back to the first song and listen to the song 'Hero'.
Obviously, this is a popular theme with Christian musicians.
Ted Dekker is one of my favorite authors, and this is one of his 'short stories' of sorts he posted on his blog I found particularly relevant:
"I always wondered why babies cry when I walk by, and now I know. I am a beast.
You ask me how I know. You see, I was walking through a beautiful forest on a Sunday afternoon stroll when a horrible snort sounded in the bushes to my right. I whirled and came face to face with an enormous hairy boar with two red eyes and long bloodied tusks.
I couldn’t move. But when the boar charged I managed to uproot my feet and run. Through the brush, over rocks, leaping ditches—I don’t remember because panic had shut down my mind.
Blind with that terror, I ran straight into a small canyon and pulled up hard at the base of a cliff. I could hear the beast’s snorting behind and I knew that my back would be pierced by those tusks. When I spun to face it, the boar slid to a glaring stop, a ferocious sight that turned me to ice.
It grunted once and charged, and I lost my mind to fear. I screamed bloody murder and threw myself directly for it, perhaps with a desperate hope it would turn and flee.
It did not flee. It took me head on.
But instead of smashing into those bloodied tusks, I crashed into mirrored glass that shattered and fell to the ground. I stood panting. The boar was gone. The only blood was on my forearms, where the mirror had cut me.
So you see, that is how I know that I am a beast."
---Ted Dekker, 'The Boar'
We all have potential for evil. Each and every one of us could have been Adolf Hitler or Joseph Stalin. We see murderers, thieves, and rapists on TV and seperate ourselves from them. We say, 'They are worse than us. Below us.'
We all could be that person. For those of us who aren't, it's by the amazing grace of God.
No murderer is born a murderer, and no rapist is born a rapist. They are born just like you and me. But something in their life happened that pushed their conscience away entirely. Under different circumstances, that could have been anyone. It's like some kind of sick, twisted equation:
Broken world + sin nature of humans x circumstance= result.
We've all got this monster inside of us. Christians are no exception. That's the tricky thing about free will- it provides both the potential for amazing good or great evil. Yet God gave it to us anyway.
This is why God is incredible- because His love is UNCONDITIONAL. He loves all He has created, no matter what. God only hates sins- he does not hate sinners. God doesn't hate gays- he hates the sin of homosexuality that these people struggle with. God doesn't hate 'whores'- he hates the insecurity and fear that leads a girl to such actions.
People are not their sin. There are no 'gays'. There are people who struggle with homosexuality. There are no 'whores'. There are people who struggle with self-esteem. Their are no 'emos'. There are people who suffer with depression and self-loathing.
The call of the Christian- and consequently, one of the biggest challenges- is to look at people and see beyond their sin. Hate their actions, not them.
I'm not entirely sure what I'm trying to say here, but I have one last quote that will wrap it up:
"Pity? It is a pity the ring ever came to him (Gollum) at all. Gollum loves and hates the ring, as he loves and hates himself. Do not be too quick to offer up death in judgment, Frodo."- Gandalf
God bless.
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